I’m disturbed. I was recently visiting a college campus when something happened that’s never happened before. Before my event, I like to have dinner with students. It was during a lighthearted dinner conversation when a student casually revealed that he often drives drunk. His tone was so casual; he could have been asking to pass the ketchup. Hiding my horror, I casually asked him why drives drunk. He didn’t like to leave his car in strange places, hated walking and didn’t like to depend on people to drive him home. As a guest on campus, I have to maintain a certain level of professionalism, but I wanted to throw something at him. I was deeply disturbed. See, after this particular event, I had a two-hour drive ahead of me. I hate driving. Too many people I know, and love, have died while driving. I imagined this dangerous drunk hitting me or someone I love. My stomach lurched. I gently tried to explain that what he’s doing is selfish. I offered alternatives. Still, it didn’t register. He tempered his story by telling me he only drives buzzed. Another student chimed in, “Buzzed driving is drunk driving.” I was grateful for the support. I explained that he could go to jail, get his license suspended, ruin his future or kill someone. Walking would be his smallest concern. Still, nothing. The impact of his selfish, ignorant and dangerous behavior didn’t hit him. And that’s why I’m writing to you. I need your help. I want to help him. I want to turn my disgust into something positive. I want to keep him from killing someone or himself. I don’t want him to kill you or someone you love. Here’s what I’m asking you to do: Write him a letter. Begin it with: “Dear Drunk Driving College Student, Before driving drunk again, PLEASE read this letter.” Email it, write it by hand or record it via video. Be bold. Be candid. Be real. Use whatever language feels comfortable. Share how your life has been impacted by driving under the influence.
Here’s how to send me your letter: Write me through my website www.HelpMeHarlan.com. Email me your letters to Harlan(@helpmeharlan.com. Send videos to: Harlan@helpmeharlan.com (keep them under a minute). Send handwritten letters to: Help Me, Harlan! 3501 N. Southport Ave 226, Chicago, IL 60657.
I’ve been talking to a girl who interests me. The problem is that she has pictures of all her exes framed on her desk. What does this mean? Is that a red flag that she still hasn’t let go of the past? I find it a little strange. What’s your take?
Dear Extreme Ex,
It’s better than half-burned pictures of her exes. Her love for the past could be an unhealthy obsession, or a sign that she’s kind, genuine and not a monster who hates all the men she’s dated. Date her. If she shows up with a picture frame and snaps a photo for her collection, it’s a bad sign. If she spends all her time focused on you, her exes won’t matter. Not all people hate their exes. See if it’s strange or sweet.
If you’re not secure enough to date a woman who respects here exes, she’s the wrong woman for you. Find a woman who hates men.