As we plunge into summer, prepared to endure a flood of friends from away, we ought to be prepared to answer their questions. Here are some of those likely questions, with answers at the end of the column to help you prepare.

1) We’ve heard a lot about your governor. How much longer is his term of office? a) six months; b) 18 months; c) too long, d) seems like an eternity.

2) We just saw a bald eagle. Are they: a) endangered; b) the state bird; c) eating too many great blue herons; d) year-round residents?

3) What should we see while we are here? a) moose; b) Maine Wildlife Park; c) mountains; d) Hermit of Rome’s home; e) Maine.

4) Should we retire here? a) of course not; b) let’s swap homes; c) if you like high taxes; d) there’s already too many old people here.

5) Where can we shop? a) L.L. Bean; b) Goodwill; c) Mardens and Renys; d) yard sales; e) North Conway.

6) Why is your Legislature still in session? a) they heard that Augusta is lovely in the summer; b) they shut down the government so the governor locked the doors of the Capitol and legislators couldn’t get out; c) they did such a poor job in the first six months that they had to repeat that session.

7) We heard that Mainers are heavily armed. Are we safe here? a) are you carrying? b) want to buy a gun?

8) What should we eat here? a) blueberry pie, the state dessert; b) whoopie pies, the state treat; c) sardines, used to be caught and canned here; d) raw milk; e) anything at a farmer’s market.

9) What should we do here? a) live life the way it should be; b) put on bug spray; c) fasten your seatbelt; d) try our microbrews; e) get off the coast; f) spend lots of money.

10) What should we tell our friends when we get home? a) that you loved Maine; b) that the people of Maine are the friendliest you’ve ever met; c) that Maine is a cheap date; d) that they should visit Maine and be sure to get off the coast.

FEELING SO SMART

If you got most of these right, you should be hired at the Welcome to Maine station in Kittery for the summer. Here are the answers.

Question 1: b, c and d. Wishful thinking if you answered six months.

Question 2: b, c and d. But they spend the winter on the coast.

Question 3: a, b (in Gray, just two minutes from the turnpike — and you can see moose there); c (alas, it’s been dismantled); c) (yes we have them — get off the coast); d) alas, it’s been dismantled; e) the real Maine. Starts north of Augusta.

Question 4: a, b, c, d. Feel free to add more good advice.

Question 5: I am sure you can get this one right.

Question 6: I can’t give you the answers because I have four legislative bills still in process and can’t afford to offend legislators. Oops!

Question 7: OK, stop having fun and tell them they are safer here than wherever it is that they live.

Question 8: Yes, we are obsessed with sweets. a, b, d, e.

Question 9: b, c, d (definitely), e, and f (please!).

Question 10: All of the above. Be a billboard for Maine this summer. And spend your own summer vacation right here. We need the money.

George Smith is a writer and TV talk show host. He can be reached at 34 Blake Hill Road, Mount Vernon, ME 04352, or [email protected] Read more of Smith’s writings at www.georgesmithmaine.com.