You're bored. I can tell. I can see it in your face.

You say you're missing something -- the proverbial "it" -- and you want to find a way to challenge yourself and your senses, get out and feel like you're doing something. You're in luck.

WickedOutdoorsy.com has already filled the calendar.

It's 7 events designed to, in their words, "test the strength, stamina, and sanity of even the burliest New Englanders." From surfing icy Maine coastal waters to watching a Formula 1 race in Montreal, this list has it all. And, if you're going to do the loop, you're bringing me along. Remember, after all, you read about it here first, right?

“Spring fever is nasty this year,” said Drew Simmons, editor-in-chief of WickedOutdoorsy.com. “It doesn’t need to be warm, just get me out of the house.”

The criteria for the listing was simple -- it measured the ratio of discomfort versus reward and the likelihood that your wife/girlfriend wouldn't go even if you promised her a luxurious spa trip on the way home.

Without any further ado, here's the calendar. You've been warned...

* Surf Maine: The Kennebunk-based Aquaholics Surf Shop offers surf lessons starting April 1 with all the necessary equipment provided. Before you say, “that’s not manly, that’s just crazy,” you should know your instructor will be a woman.

* Ski Tuckerman’s Ravine: The quintessential backcountry skiing and riding spot heats up when warmer temps arrive in New Hampshire. With a variety of seriously steep terrain, the adventure begins with a 3-mile hike from Pinkham Notch, followed by a ton of hiking, just to reach a few minutes of glory. Definitely not for beginners.

* Raft the Dead River: As this winter’s record snow pack turns from white to whitewater, the local whitewater guides at Northern Outdoors in The Forks are expecting the Dead’s legendary rapids to be the biggest in the resort’s 32-season history.

* Blast Vermont turkeys: Home to New England’s most robust turkey population, Vermont will declare open season on these wild birds from May 1-31.

* Hang with 'Larry the Cable Guy': Sitting through Larry’s 2-hour comedy set at the Cumberland County Civic Center will require bravery, strength, and endurance.

* Catch stripers on the fly: Hosted by the Martha’s Vineyard Rod & Gun Club, the annual Fly Rod Striped Bass Catch & Release Tournament is never canceled, forcing eager anglers to fish through rain, wind and bad early season baseball.

* Formula 1 racing in Montreal: F1 fans from all over the world will bring their mullets to Montreal on June 8 to see some of the world’s most talented drivers race for the checkered flag. Oh, and Cuban cigars are legal in Canada.

Photo by Jim Evans, chief photographer

There are beach people and skiing people, but there are very few skiing beach people.

But it made perfect sense on a cold, clear day in coastal Ogunquit when dog walkers, beach combers and nordic skiers, yes, skiers shared the sand and snow. This winter's heavy snow has made the smooth shoreline a good place to take a Sunday schuss. No swimmers were in sight.

The Algonquin Indians named this area "Ogunquit," which means "beautiful place by the sea."

A reminder of what real snow is like. Photo from a trip to Snowbird in Utah two winters ago.

HALLOWELL — One of our favorite winter urban myths: Eskimos have over 1,000 words to describe snow.

Here in Maine, we may not have that many, but we do have many different kinds of snow. On Saturday we received snow that is sometimes called "heart attack" snow. It is a wet, heavy cement-like snow which will clog your snowblower. If you have clogged arteries, you'll have a heart attack when shoveling it.