Someone go to Brando’s grave. Make sure he’s dead.

How bad can a movie be if it has Al Pacino in it? More than you can bear.

Once upon a time Big Al’s presence was guaranteed to trim a picture in gold. Those days are sadly long gone. The great Pacino has softly edged into that shady spot under the memory tree at the Actor’s Home, where once great stars like Michael Caine, who now appears in an even worse film (“Mysterious Island”) than the one I am about to note, rests. The shade under that tree has grown larger and larger in recent years. The gifted Anthony Hopkins recently booked his own hammock into that spot with his latest efforts, “The Wolfman,” and the “Rite.”

In Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill,” Pacino makes more than just a cameo appearance, he plays a sizable part as someone Sandler, playing Jack Sadelstein, a commercial director, covets for a Dunkin Donut shot. In this sad, unfunny trash, Pacino, as a parody of himself, is forced to lust after Sandler’s twin sister, played by Sandler himself.

This is what we see: Sandler’s sister Jill (Jack and Jill — get it?) a denizen of the Bronx, has come to Beverly Hills to spend Thanksgiving with her brother, who loathes her as much as you will, and with his family. The family consists of a little girl, a cute Elodie Tougne, a tiny baby brother adopted from India (Rohan Chand) who likes to glue and tape objects to his body such as a turkey wing and Jill’s parrot.

Katie Holmes is Mrs. Sadelstein, and she works very hard to maintain a sense of sanity, but can barely disguise her contempt for the material. Holmes, AKA Mrs. Tom Cruise, needs money? Exposure to bottom feeder audiences? What?

Sandler himself is not a bad comic. He has good timing and, as he showed in the remake of “Mr. Deeds Goes To Town,” a benign sweetness. But his attempt to do drag here falls somewhere beneath Gene Hackman’s efforts in ” The Birdcage.” As his sister Jill, Sandler seems not to make any attempt to reach for one of the higher rungs. Everything is played out at street level.

Halfway into the movie, one can sense Sandler’s sudden awareness that he is in deeper trouble than he expected. One gets the feeling that Pacino was in town looking for a few extra bucks to feed his legit theater career, which isn’t going too well, and bumped into Sandler in line at the Beverly Hills’ Starbucks. “Whatcha up to, Al ?”

“Oh, I’m at liberty for the time being and thought I’d get some sun.”

“Wanna make a cameo in my new flick?”

“Whatcha payin?”

I’m sure that Pacino wasn’t aware that Sandler, caught with his dreams down, was going to keep the camera running in hopes of catching a few brilliant Pacino moments. Spoiler alert: They don’t arrive.

For your money you get Johnny Depp sitting courtside at a Laker’s game, John McEnroe yelling at a party, David Spade doing something, and Regis Philbin making a Pepto Bismol commercial. The Pepto Bismol company missed a smart marketing move. They should have given out free sample bottles of the pink stuff, in the lobbies.

It was also sad to see the once very funny Tim Meadows in a four-line part. At least we can say this. No animals were hurt in the making of the film, and Julia Roberts did not make an appearance.

The audience for this sort of thing is a group somewhere between 12 and l8. It’s safe to say that none of them are aware that they are watching the man who once was “Sonny Wortzik,” “Michael Corleone,” and ” Frank Serpico.” Thank God, Brando is not here to see this.

J.P. Devine is a former stage and screen actor.

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