I have learned a lot in the past 17 years.

I used to secretly wonder if our elder son was gay. Some signs were there, but I denied them and buried the thoughts. I didn’t know much about homosexuality, and it scared me.

It wasn’t until his younger brother’s wedding that I began to see more clearly. The wedding was in St. Louis. It was a beautiful ceremony on the grounds of a stately mansion. There were gifts and bridesmaids and flowers; exchange of vows and rings. There was even a horse-drawn carriage to whisk the bride and groom off to the reception and an evening of dining and dancing.

It was a happy time, but our oldest son was in a strange mood. He was not his usual upbeat, fun-loving self. When I asked if something was wrong, he mumbled something and turned away.

He seemed confused but said only that he was struggling with the best man toast. He wanted it to be right.

I didn’t pursue it at the time, but somehow knew. I just knew. Later, I found the courage to ask, and he told me about Jim. They had been together for five years. I came to understand that he was in a loving, committed relationship, just like his brother.

I have learned so much. Our son did not chose to be gay; he chose to be himself.

Please vote for marriage equality.

Anita Morrissey, Sidney