We enjoy waking up to a classical radio station on our clock radio — it seems like a pleasant way to begin the day.

Lately, however, I’ve thought that the station should just skip the news. There simply isn’t any pleasant news to report this summer. At least nothing I want to hear about at 6 a.m. Iraq’s irascibility, downed airliners, continuous grief in Gaza. I’ll endeavor to solve the world’s problems — after a cup of coffee.

I’d like to submit this audition as a morning radio host:

“Good morning! It’s a beautiful 68 degrees today as the sun rises across the Kennebec River from our Gardiner studio. In the news, a real estate agent I know came told me a great story last night. That afternoon, she’d closed on a home purchased by a woman who is over 55. This modest home was the very first house the buyer has ever owned. When asked after the closing how she intended to celebrate this milestone, she gleefully announced, “I’m going to invite a friend over for wine coolers and pizza!” (heh-heh) Here’s to today’s first-time home buyers!

“In other news, the city of Augusta has begun to deploy modular storage units for kayaks adjacent to the Eastside Boat Landing. A gregarious chap walking a golden retriever mentioned that the site will become a recreational Paddle Park dedicated to Maine veterans. When completed, it would provide more convenient access to kayaks and gear — greatly enhancing paddling activity on the Kennebec. We’ll certainly be following this story!

“Now, let’s get back to some music. Here’s a great tune to bring back fond memories. From the summer of 1854 — Pete Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1 — have yourself a great day!”

How does that sound?

Buddy Doyle


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