There are way too many “rewards” cards. The other day, I noticed I was listing to the left while driving. When I got home, I dumped out my wallet. It was obese with plastic cards. There was a time when my wallet was fat with cash. It was called the ’80s.

I have a driver’s license, debit card and a credit card that reads “For Emergency Use Only” (in my wife’s handwriting). It’s certainly not that credit card that asks “What’s in your wallet?” — so they can pursue whatever’s left in it. If Gov. Paul LePage could assure me he’d outlaw “What’s in your wallet?” commercials in Maine — I’d consider voting for him … (nah — just kidding!)

I have rewards cards for office supplies, pet needs and home improvement materials. There’s my MPBN Evergreen card, and a Clynk card for recycling bottles — I love clynk-ing. Sam’s Club — gotta have that, huh? The bagel shop and Railroad Square Cinema are nice, thin paper cards. They’ll stay in.

Thank God, I don’t fly much anymore. I had a few “airline mileage cards” back in the day. Talk about rewards! Nothing like getting bumped up to first class on long flights — no problem reclining your seat up there! They’d fluff your pillow upon request or invite you up to the flight deck (“sure! — bring your drink!”) to meet the pilots. They’d practically let you “take the stick” if you asked nicely. The friendly skies were actually friendly. You could take a friend to the lavatory with you!

Back to rewards cards. I found that if you just give the retailer your phone number — they’re happy. No need to carry the card or even “friend” them.

Andy Rooney used to discuss this stuff. I miss Andy.

Buddy Doyle

Gardiner


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.