I don’t have an opinion about the Great Academy Awards Slap of 2022, but I do have a fact: It is legal to do what Will Smith did to Chris Rock in Maine, as long as you are a parent doing it to your child. Except for self-defense, there are no other circumstances under which an adult can hit a nonconsenting adult in the face, but you can do it to your own kid.

Seriously, I checked the statute. Title 17-A of the Maine Criminal Code, Part 1, Chapter 5. It says that a parent “is justified in using a reasonable degree of force against that child when and to the extent that the person reasonably believes it necessary to prevent or punish the child’s misconduct.” The law goes on to say “for purposes of subsection 1, ‘reasonable degree of force’ is an objective standard. To constitute a reasonable degree of force, the physical force applied to the child may result in no more than transient discomfort or minor temporary marks on that child.”

First of all, “transient discomfort” is not an objective standard. Every person’s pain tolerance is different. Furthermore, a blow that leaves “minor temporary marks” on one child might leave no marks, or lasting marks, on another. Some kids bruise way more easily than others. But going by Maine law, Chris Rock did not seem to have lasting marks on his face, although I cannot confirm this, as he was probably wearing stage makeup at the time and was in flattering lighting. But it was clear that the “discomfort” was “transient,” as he continued on with the show.

All major medical groups, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, oppose spanking and other forms of corporal punishment for children. It has been found to be “minimally effective in the short-term and not effective in the long-term” as well as developmentally linked “to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children.” Unfortunately, spanking and other physical punishments for children are woven into our society’s fabric. Generationally, it seems to be in a decline: According to the medical journal JAMA Pediatrics, Gen Xers and millennials are less likely to use corporal punishment. I certainly don’t plan to hit any children I’m responsible for. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to teach children that it’s OK to hit the people who you love if there’s a good enough reason for it. That’s a recipe for future domestic violence down the road.

I asked my mom if she had ever spanked us as kids. I don’t have any memories of it happening to me. I do have a few memories of my brother getting slapped on the wrist. (As soon as he could walk, he could run, and he liked to run in the direction of cars.) She said yes, she had, a few times – when we were toddlers, at that age where we were developed and mobile enough to get ourselves in trouble but before we had developed things like “the ability to use logic and reason.” She cried after every incident, and it never became a regular part of our childhood discipline.

I think there is this idea of rationally meted out physical punishment – you know, the stereotype of “wait until your father gets home,” when, upon his arrival, your misconduct will be discussed and the spanks administered. Calm, orderly violence. That wasn’t how it worked in our house, though, and generally violence isn’t particularly orderly. My mom said she spanked us only at points when she was feeling very emotionally out of control, which makes sense but also goes against the whole idea of using it as thoughtful discipline.

Children pay attention to the actions of grown-ups, not just their words. How do you expect to teach a child that violence is not the answer, or that violence for reasons other than self-defense is never OK, when you are clearly demonstrating that violence is sometimes the answer, and that sometimes violence is OK?

I’m not sure if the answer here is to make it explicitly illegal to hit your child under any circumstances. If we encode that in the statutes, then parents who can afford skilled lawyers and are good at talking to bureaucrats will get away with spanking their kids, and parents who don’t have deep pockets will go to jail for the same action. This will have to be a cultural sea change, from the ground up. But the first step to fixing a problem is identifying it. If we teach our children that physical violence is an acceptable way to rebuke someone for a misbehavior or transgression, then don’t be surprised when they grow up and whack someone in the face.

Victoria Hugo-Vidal is a Maine millennial. She can be contacted at:
themainemillennial@gmail.com
Twitter: @mainemillennial

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