It has been more than 20 years since the first state passed anti-bullying legislation. The Columbine High School massacre in 1999, in which 12 students and one teacher were fatally shot and 21 others wounded by two students who reportedly were bullied and acted as bullies, catapulted the topic of bullying to a new awareness.

Our society began learning about the broad impact bullying has on the mental, social and psychological well-being of our youths. How we define bullying has gradually expanded. The enormous growth of social media platforms has played a major role in how we interpret and describe it.

Lawmakers have responded. States across the country have laws that require schools to form and enforce policies to prevent and penalize bullying. According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, 49 states have mandates that schools must follow to effectively deal with bullying. However, the ever-evolving tech world and social media platforms make it difficult for educators and lawmakers to curtail it.

Bullying takes on different forms, such as cyberbullying and social, physical and verbal harassment. Cyberbullying occurs more frequently because it can take place in multiple venues and at any time. It is often difficult to ascertain all of the participants involved because platforms may allow individuals to hide their identities.

Students who are bullied are more likely to experience lower grades, depression and anxiety, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data. Nearly 14% of public schools report that bullying takes place at least once a week. It’s more frequent in middle school, followed by high school.

Middle school students may be more likely to take part in bullying because those are the years when youths begin to exhibit their independence. They become more aware of their bodies and how they are perceived by their peers, which makes them more likely to fall prey to peer pressure.

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Because of their role in shaping how youths communicate with others, it’s important for parents and guardians to be cognizant of how they comport themselves in front of their preteens and teens, such as how they engage someone at the store, how they behave while driving in traffic and the tone they use when talking to friends and neighbors. If youths routinely see adults engage in practices that are aggressive or mean-spirited, it’s likely these youths will mimic those behaviors, regardless of the consequences.

Adults can also influence how youths engage with social media platforms. If adults take part in unhealthy habits, such as spending an inordinate amount of time on social media posting negative comments or numerous pictures and selfies, youths may duplicate those practices. Psychologists often lament the negative impact that “likes” and the opposite have on the self-esteem of youths. The saying, “Hurt people hurt people,” tells the story.

Adults’ awareness of their own practices is necessary. After all, the development of our youths is our responsibility. Each of us plays a role in guiding our youths and teaching them the appropriate ways of communicating. Unfortunately, when it comes to bullying, we often focus on what happens at schools. Yet so much of it takes place outside of school.

Certainly, institutions of learning must meet the challenges and put safeguards in place to ensure that youths are able to feel safe at school. The laws recognize schools’ obligation.

However, the responsibility does not end at school. How adults behave matters. Studies show adults do, indeed, bully. Data from the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health reveals the existence and effects of bullying in the workplace. Unfortunately, not enough research has been done on adult bullying. At the same, it plays out regularly at the supermarket or at a fast-food restaurant when a customer verbally assaults an employee for a mistake. Most children have witnessed angry reactions in drivers when someone makes a mistake while driving or simply because they are not going fast enough.

October, as National Bullying Prevention Month, brings the issue of public behavior and bullying to the forefront. While schools should review their policies and practices to ensure that students are safe, it’s imperative that adults don’t model the practices of bullies.

Simply put, how we speak to and treat each other matters. Behaving appropriately is something we all should do and not just in October. The celebrated diarist Anne Frank once said, “How wonderful it is that nobody has to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

Bullying is wrong, and we can all stop it.

Jerald McNair is a school administrator at South Holland School District 151 in Illinois.
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