We’ve lost the middle ground — the ability to compromise that drives our political success. We should be able to disagree without being disagreeable. You should reach out to those who disagree with you. Be curious, not judgmental. Agree to disagree. Find areas of agreement.

It’s all about civility. We can and should oppose bad ideas and leaders, but we can do that respectfully. And that is more effective. Yes, it’s up to each of us to bring back civility.

This is just some of what I learned at the 32nd annual Thomas Nevola MD Symposium in June at Colby College. The symposium was very timely, focusing on civil discourse: “The Outward and Inward Work of Bridging Divides and Finding Peace in the Face Of Differences.”

This year’s symposium was presented by Maine-Dartmouth Family Medicine Residency and MaineGeneral Medical Center, in partnership with the National Institute for Civil Discourse. Alas, no politicians attended. But truly, we can’t rely on them. It’s up to the rest of us to bring back civility.

In the booklet given to each of us I read, “We live in a time when the everyday differences and occasional woundedness and estrangement among people have been magnified by a toxic environment of polarization. Given the pivotal importance of meaningful and harmonious relationships to health and well-being, we see this separateness and estrangement as a significant spiritual and public health issue.”

Boy they got that right.

There were lots of choices for sessions involving presentations and discussion. In the morning I chose “The Value of Public Discourse and the Need For Many Voices,” presented by Diane Atwood, Galen Koch, and Greg Kesich. Atwood is a former TV news reporter who now has a podcast and health and wellness blog called Catching Health. Kesich is the editorial page editor for the Portland Press Herald and Maine Sunday Telegram.

Koch leads a very interesting project called The First Coast, where she spends a month in each town working on local stories. I was surprised and pleased when she reported that her most recent work was in Lubec, a favorite place of mine where my mother grew up.

The discussion was fascinating, focusing on today’s 24-hour news cycle and social media, where people can cherry pick the news that conforms to their world view. We had a great discussion about the challenges that this brings, the impact on people’s well-being, and strategies on how to restore trust in the media.

After a welcome by Fred Craigie, the symposium’s leader and organizer, and Chuck Hayes, president and CEO of MaineGeneral Health, we had a very interesting keynote presentation by Dr. Carolyn Lukensmeyer on incivility and political dysfunction. Dr. Lukensmeyer offered an interesting history of the attempt to restore civility, and lots of good suggestions for ways each of us can help achieve that.

“Listening is critical,” she noted, and “democracy is a conversation. Quality of conversation matters. Incivility limits public involvement in politics and is a public health threat. Across all age groups, we feel this is the lowest point in our nation’s history.”

I was surprised to learn at the start of Maine’s legislative session, the Maine Development Foundation offers a seminar on civility. Given the very disappointing performance of our Legislature this year, I guess that seminar was unsuccessful.

Turns out that Maine is one of the states working on a civility initiative, with quite a few partners throughout the state, including the AARP. You can learn a lot about it at www.revive.civility.org. You can also sign the civility pledge on that website.

At the end of the afternoon session, we gathered together to explore actions we could take as individuals, in small groups and organizations, and as communities on behalf of civil discourse and bridging divides. It was a great discussion.

Some of the best suggestions were to focus on the good things in your life, oppose respectfully and civilly, rethink your priorities daily, faith can be very helpful, and reach out to others including opponents and people you do not like.

Listening is very important, a skill that many no longer have. I like the suggestion that we pull our communities together to discuss issues.

I am proud to day that my town of Mount Vernon actually has quite a few gatherings in our community center. For example, Tom Ward organized individual sessions with many of our major political candidates before the primaries.

George Smith can be reached at 34 Blake Hill Road, Mount Vernon, ME 04352, or [email protected]. Read more of Smith’s writings at www.georgesmithmaine.com.