MANCHESTER, N.H. — A New Hampshire teenager who admitted to killing his father with a hammer and knife in 2019 has been sentenced to 50 years to life in prison.

Joseph Beam, 19, of Antrim, pleaded guilty and was sentenced Monday for killing his father, Jason Beam, WMUR-TV reported.

“It’s hard waking up every day knowing you’re the reason why your dad is gone,” Joseph Beam said in court. “I would do anything in this world to have my dad back. He means a lot to me. Every day, I worry about him. I don’t know where someone goes after they die, but I hope I can see him again someday.”

Joseph Beam, who had been jailed without bail since his arrest, told investigators that he had planned to kill his family, but he lost the motivation to do so after killing his father.

His lawyers had filed a notice of insanity defense. They said he was dealing with severe mental health issues at the time, and that he is on a path to rehabilitation.

“The actions of Joey that night were not the actions of the son I bore, I nurtured and I loved,” Beam’s mother Julie Patten said. “His actions were the manifestations of a delusion. Symptoms that were so distressing to himself, that he was afraid to tell Jason or me.”