Michael and Bonnie Williams are shown Thursday with chihuahua Bella, 18, at their home in Waterville. ”We take her everywhere we go because her life is short,” Michael says. Rich Abrahamson/Morning Sentinel

Michael Williams has a lot of time to think about his past as he lives at home in Waterville with a terminal illness and receives palliative care.

Williams, 78, recalls growing up and attending school in Waterville, enlisting in the U.S. Air Force at 18 and becoming an airman first class. After serving seven years, he married, had children and held various jobs, including as a driver for Continental Trailways in Boston and the city bus system in Portland, as well as a call firefighter in Westbrook.

In central Maine, he served on the Benton Planning Board, was a member of the Clinton Lions Club and served on the board of directors for the Humane Society Waterville Area for 18 years, the last part of which he was board president. He helped to plan for and execute the building of the shelter on Webb Road.

“I have tried to give back,” he said.

Williams’ health struggles began when he had his first heart attack at 34. The treatment wasn’t as good as it is now, but he made it through and felt good for a while but his illness continued, and he became disabled in 1983. In 2015, he had a triple bypass, and the next year, contracted a staph infection. In 2018, he went into cardiac arrest.

“When it comes, you have no idea it’s coming, he said. “I went into the living room and I knew something was very wrong. I sat down and took my blood pressure, and the top level was fine but the bottom level was right out of this world. All of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. I grabbed my throat and was leaning back in my chair, trying to get some air. That’s all I remember.”

Over the years, Williams has taken many ambulance rides to hospitals in Boston, Portland and MaineGeneral Medical Center in Augusta, been airlifted by LifeFlight of Maine and experienced traumatic health events. He suffers from kidney and liver disease and post traumatic stress disorder, which wakes him up in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been shocked 36 times with a defibrillator,” he said. “It’s pretty much taken everything right out of me.”

I spoke Tuesday with Williams and his wife and caretaker, Bonnie Williams, 66, about his condition, which is difficult, both physically and emotionally. They were open and candid in sharing their story.

“You jump up and down in your moods,” Michael Williams said. “It’s not easy for the caretaker at all.”

Bonnie retired last year to stay home and care for her husband after working 17 years as a custodian at Colby College, and 18 years before that at C.F. Hathaway Co., the former shirt factory in Waterville.

She acknowledges life has been hard, but said she takes daily walks, which help her to stay focused for her husband.

“He never has a good day,” she said.

Michael said if it weren’t for her and his caretakers from MaineGeneral, he wouldn’t be here.

Michael Williams, second from left, with his grandson Marshall Tillett, left, wife, Bonnie Williams, and daughter Stephanie Williams, during a visit earlier this month in Waterville. Photo courtesy of Bonnie Williams

His hospice/palliative care social worker, Gina Mosca, helped him to apply to the Dream Foundation, an organization that grants wishes to adults, including veterans, who are seriously ill. He was awarded his wish, which was to have his daughter, Stephanie Williams, 52, and grandson, Marshall Tillett, 17, visit him from their home in Greensboro, North Carolina. She is a paraplegic, having suffered an infection some six months after her son was born, Williams said. During that time, she had been complaining of back pain and one day could not get out of bed. By the time doctors identified the infection, it was already in her spinal column, headed for her brain, he said.

“She was in the hospital for a long time. She’s what keeps me going. She certainly has had it, I think, worse than me.”

The Dream Foundation flew his daughter and grandson to Maine, where they stayed with the Williamses from April 12-19. It was a special reunion in which they shared quality time, they said.

Williams cited two others who have helped him a lot — Hildy Curato, a MaineGeneral social worker who preceded Mosca, and Jamie Boutin, a palliative care nurse. Having that meaningful and supportive human interaction has been a godsend as he struggles to negotiate a wide range of feelings and emotions, he said.

“A person would be so lucky to have them,” he said. “Gina is the type of person who listens to you. What I like is the listening because sometimes I just dump. I still think it’s unfair that I had my life taken away from me, so to speak. I just can’t accept it. Gina, she’s a sweetheart. She’s always there for me.”

What bothers him more than anything is knowing that his friends are doing things in retirement that he can’t do, he said. Though his medications keep him alive, they cause side effects and he is limited in his movements. He can’t walk very far, suffers shortness of breath and is very tired all the time. His hands and legs shake at night, he said.

“I have been through a lot of difficult stages. I’ve been angry. I’ve been sad. I still go through periods where I might just cry for no reason. I’m a very strong person, but now I’m so dependent on everybody else. I’m afraid. I’m scared.”

He stays mostly at home where he reads and spends time with Bonnie and their fawn-colored chihuahua, Bella, a loyal and steady companion. For her, they are grateful.

“She is 17, 18 years old,” Michael said. “She’s our baby right now.”

Amy Calder has been a Morning Sentinel reporter 37 years. Her columns appear here Sundays. She is the author of the book, “Comfort is an Old Barn,” a collection of her curated columns, published in 2023 by Islandport Press. She may be reached at acalder@centralmaine.com. For previous Reporting Aside columns, go to centralmaine.com.