Funeral Directors Craig McInnis and Grace Poulin recommend starting a conversation with a simple question that many people have not answered aloud: “What do you want?” The conversation usually goes from there.
If you’re comfortable with the idea of your death, you’ll love what you’re about to read. If you are ready to click away, you need what you’re about to read.
While everyone has different feelings about funerals, celebrations, burials and cremations, a singular fact is that having concrete plans for what you want gives your family time and energy to focus on grieving and remembrance when you’re gone.
At Gallant Funeral Home in Waterville, second-generation owner Craig McInnis says one of the most common phrases he hears from people making decisions for a loved one is, “I’m not going to remember anything you’ve said.”
“Which is okay!” he adds. “We’re ready to go over things again and again,” but for people who had pre-planned and pre-paid, “their family just has to come in, pick a date and sign paperwork.
He and Funeral Director Grace Poulin want to see more families and friends start a conversation about pre-planning for mortuary services. They like consulting for no charge because death is their everyday work, and they can help turn emotionally fraught decisions into positive ones.
“When people come here, they usually walk out feeling more comfortable and lighter than they felt when they came in,” said Grace.
Anyone can create a plan at any stage in their life, and you always can make changes if you wish. Here are four basic ways to get yourself or your near-and-dear started:
Make plans when nothing is at stake
While it sounds paradoxical to start planning funerals at fun family gatherings, discussing death when you’re feeling good is much more constructive than in dire situations, when someone is disempowered and the other is scrambling to figure it out.
“People are worried about manifesting something, which is understandable, but you are not drawing the event any closer to you by discussing it,” reminded Grace. “It can be casual, like, standing around in the kitchen, and it can be a surprisingly fun topic. It’s the thing everyone wants to talk about, but many of us have been taught to not talk about it.”
Start with one simple question
Grace and Craig recommend starting a conversation with a simple question that many people have not answered aloud: “What do you want?” The conversation usually goes from there. Pre-planning lets you create a unique life celebration and including your family in the process helps them feel connected to you both in life and death, knowing that your arrangements reflect your desires.
Understand the costs so you can save
Pre-payment generally means that you will be protected from inflation and price changes for most post-mortem services. Gallant Funeral Home deposits all pre-payments into a trust fund where it remains until needed. Pre-paying also provides peace of mind for your family, who won’t have to figure out all of your funeral expenses when the time comes.
If you move from the area and no longer plan to have services, be buried or cremated in Waterville, your pre-planned arrangements and all pre-payment funds are easily transferable to any funeral home in the United States.
To understand an estimated budget for what you want and need, you can see Gallant Funeral Home’s pricing online.
Don’t decide on everything at once
There’s more that goes into post-death care, funeral planning and burial or cremation services than most of us, or an internet search, can know. To get a picture of the details, see this pre-planning checklist for basic arrangements. You can also fill out a pre-planning form to put initial details on paper or make an appointment with Craig and Grace.
“Information and communication are really important to us,” said Craig. “We kind of do it all here, so we can answer any question, and none of it is weird or morbid to us.”
Ultimately, pre-planning and pre-paying are powerful gifts to your loved ones and yourself. Whether you take action this holiday season or at any time next year, there are caring, local resources to help guide you.
For more information, visit gallantfh.com
