Sandra Jaeger lives in Georgetown.

I’m 89 and technology has enabled me to connect easily to the outside world via Zoom, shopping online, keeping in touch with family, friends and more, but it is also the source of great frustration, angst, anxiety and irritation.

We are an aging nation, but technology has not kept up with our needs.

It is impossible for me to open a soda bottle or water bottle. My strength has diminished and my hand and fingers cannot twist the cap open even when I use grippers meant for the job. Cans can be an Olympic challenge.

I purchase many prescriptions and if they forget the easy open lid, I cannot open the Rx bottle. Plus, the print on the container is tiny and I cannot easily see the name of the item, the quantity or whether or not it is refillable. Some insurance companies write on the top of the cap when it is the last refill but others simply do not and so when you call for a refill and really need the med, “Sorry, please call your physician to obtain a new Rx.” Really? 

When something goes awry, and we have to contact a company, it can be infuriating. If we speak with someone who speaks rapidly or whose language is different from ours and their accent is thick, it is nearly impossible to accomplish a task. Recently I had to call a major company to say that an item I had ordered and received indicated five of my purchased items were in the box, but when I opened the box only four items were there, so I called.

After I explained, a person with a strong accent said, “OK, I’ll send you a refund slip ….” No, so I explained again. Finally I brought a young person to the phone and she explained again. It took her several minutes but at last they said they would send the missing item but she also would include a refund label. Whew.

And then, there are the interminable telephone options that we all struggle with. The worst is when you receive a letter such as the one I did from Anthem, explaining choices for a companion plan. I found it confusing so I asked a technology maven daughter to call the number they listed on the letter.

She explained and then was told to call a different number. She explained again and was told to call a different number again. She finally found someone in Maine who said she would transfer us to the person who handled that specific problem and we waited and waited. Finally, the Maine person returned and said they had hung up on her. Three more calls, waited for a supervisor for an hour and finally gave up.

Not relating to technology but also troubling is the infantilizing of the elderly. It is much better than it used to be but I still too often hear, “Just this way, dear.” Or “How can I help you, honey?” Or “Did you understand or shall I repeat the instructions?” 

When younger men and women walk into a room and can’t remember what they were looking for, or weren’t able to come up with a word, it elicits a “darn” (or a stronger word) but when an older person can’t find a word or a reason for entering a room, the children roll their eyes and talk about dementia.

Cognitive ability does decline, but give us a break and stop looking at us knowingly and suddenly treating us ever so gently. Even worse is when you have someone else with you and instead of talking directly to you, the conversation is directed to the individual accompanying me. Insulting. Stop infantilizing us.

I often wonder what it must be like for those who are old and alone as they confront state and local bureaucracies. That’s a subject for another op-ed.