In a perfect world, like the movies, when someone passes away, the funeral often takes place in the very next scene. Suddenly everyone’s weeping while holding typo-free programs and surrounded by beautiful flowers. The huge process of arranging it all goes unseen and unacknowledged.
In real life, whether someone died suddenly or after a long decline, no funeral will ever be as easy as a film cut. However, while we are alive and way before anything gets dire, we have the ability to make the process of arranging and paying for one easier and much less stressful for our families.
When it comes down to it, we’re here to help everyone get through an especially difficult time.
Grace Poulin, co-Funeral Director at Gallant Funeral Home
At Gallant Funeral Home in Waterville, a family-owned business, they have seen the positive impact pre-planning has on surviving loved ones, and have guided families through the extensive decision making process when they are starting from the beginning. Here they share what happens when funerals are arranged the “easy” way, the hard way and what to do if you’re ready to start planning now.
The “easy” way is pre-paid and arranged
When faced with nonchalance or even revulsion at making their own arrangements, “I often have to remind people that your funeral is for the people who are still here,” said Craig McInnis, second-generation owner and co-funeral director of Gallant Funeral Home. He sees pre-paying and pre-planning for cremation, burial or services as a priceless gift for families and loved ones during a time of grief.
If everything has been taken care of – sometimes there are little things, like the decedent did not pick an urn – and the family is in agreement, Craig explained that all they really have to do is meet with the funeral directors, review details for the obituary, sign forms and pick dates for services.
Gallant’s co-Funeral Director Grace Poulin feels that the heart of her work is building relationships, so she advises people with time to visit different funeral homes to compare options and go where you feel comfortable. She finds that many people she meets who are pre-arranging have had to deal with someone who did not plan or even want to talk about their post-death desires.
“Simply saying out loud what you want is another way to take care of your family at this moment,” she said. Craig added that if you feel indifferent, you can turn the question around and ask your family how they want to celebrate and remember you.
The hard way? It happens and a funeral home can help
If someone dies unexpectedly or without a plan, a funeral home will be an important and useful first call to make.
“We’ll collect the body and when the death certificate has been issued, we’ll meet and walk through every bit of the process,” said Craig. Being comfortable with death, grief and the decision-fatigue that comes from the stress of it all make him and Grace experienced, compassionate partners.
The biggest decision for loved ones will be choosing between a cremation or traditional burial process, McInnis said, but the list of choices can get long. To give you an idea of all the details involved, Gallant Funeral Home has a pre-planning checklist and pre-planning form on their website to help you get started.
It’s never too early to plan
Craig went on to say that when decisions are left solely to the next of kin, they usually default to the cheapest option. He and Grace understand why people do that, but it might make you, the person reading this right now, reconsider whether you “don’t care” what happens after you die.
So whether you want to brainstorm alone with a notepad, have some morbid laughs at a family dinner, or ask questions of an experienced, caring professional with no expectations, Gallant Funeral Home is there to help.
“When it comes down to it, we’re here to help everyone get through an especially difficult time,” said Grace.
For more information, visit gallantfh.com
