Michael J. Smith lives in Portland.

Back in the 1930s, U.S. Communists (yes, Virginia, there were such things) used to say “Scratch a liberal, and a Fascist bleeds.”

Few of these old Reds are now left, but if the majority who have gone on to see Marx could come back to this life and listened to Maine Public on the subject of Iran, they would find grim confirmation of their insight. (I hasten to add that Maine Public’s reporting on local matters in Maine is quite good; it’s the stuff they carry from the national organization that stinks; from now on I’ll save my vitriol for NPR.)

Let’s start with the distinction between a “regime” and a “government.” Although the definitional difference is unclear, in practice, a government that Mossad, the CIA and MI6 are trying to topple is always a “regime.” (Let’s call this unholy trinity, for short, the Reptiles.) Countries not currently in the Reptile crosshairs are allowed to have “governments.”

NPR dependably refers to the Iranian government as a “regime.” This, although Iran has a constitution and well-defined borders, which is more than Israel can say, and holds real
elections, unlike the Gulf oil-igarchies. Not to mention our great pal Saudi Arabia (homeland of Osama bin Laden and that virtuoso of the musical bonesaw, crown prince Muhammad bin Salman).

Israel itself is sometimes called a “democracy,” which is true in the sense that it has elections; the hitch is that only half the people who live there get to participate. For the other half, Israel is a penal colony.

The Iranian “regime” has governed the country for almost half a century now, since it chased out the murderous U.S. puppet and self-proclaimed “King of Kings” and “Light of the Aryans,” Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlevi (whose son is currently providing comic relief as Pretender to the Throne).

Since the revolution and the Shah’s hasty departure, the elected political leadership of Iran has changed several times, in an orderly, procedural, constitutional manner. Few other countries in the region can tell the same story.

Naturally, the “regime” in Iran has its detractors at home, just as “governments” do (our own very much included). Some of these, in Iran, are genuine and spontaneous, and some are ginned up by the Reptiles, as was the case in the flopped color revolution a few weeks before the current attacks. (During this episode, the Reptiles were startlingly, uncharacteristically candid about their role; quite a breath of fresh air, really.)

But it’s clear that the “regime” enjoys broad popular support; and of course, when you start dropping bombs on any country, its people tend to rally round the flag. NPR is quite interested in Iranian voices, as long as they’re disgruntled about the “regime,” embrace European and American values and speak passable English. It helps if they live in hip North Tehran (sometimes called “Tehrangeles”). As for the other 91.9 or so million Iranians? Oh, they’re just backward, religious hicks.

During the first few days of the Israeli-American blitzkrieg, NPR exhibited an abundant, even indecent, flow of excitement.

At last, the illiberal “regime” will be “taken out” (NPR loves this thuggish phrase) and liberal values will prevail! Following the example, no doubt, of Libya, a relatively recent successful Israeli/U.S. regime change joint venture, and a source of great satisfaction to the echt-liberal Hillary Clinton.

But that’s not going to happen in Iran. The only “victory” that Israel and its lapdog in North America could possibly claim is the collapse of the “regime,” and this is not even remotely likely.

Last I heard, the alternative to “victory” is, well, defeat. A chastened NPR, beginning to recognize depressing reality, has climbed down from its initial war euphoria and reverted to the usual solemn, po-faced thumb sucking. What if this, or what if that…, experts say…, very “concerning”…

Damn, it’s so hard to get the lesser types to accept “Western liberal values.” Even if you bomb the crap out of them.