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  • Published
    June 7, 2013

    Rodents enough to go around

    Those tall, beautiful palm trees etched sharply against a gorgeous early evening orange sky over Los Angeles? They’re full of rats.

  • Published
    May 31, 2013

    When junk food isn’t junk

    There are food stamps offenders, and beer and cigarettes should always be cut, but come on, being down at the bottom isn’t as much fun as it appears, and sometimes, a Hostess cupcake can bring you up faster at the end of the month than a carrot, when loose change is all there is.

  • Published
    May 24, 2013

    Money isn’t everything, right?

    J.P. Devine laments the purchases he had already planned based on winning Powerball … which he did not win.

  • Published
    May 17, 2013

    Forget the IRS, climate change, Benghazi: It’s garage sale time

    As I close the garage doors, she, the Garage Sale Queen for a day, will be sitting in an unsold antique chair, reading a $25 best-seller everyone passed up for the five-dollar tag.

  • Published
    May 3, 2013

    One word: Florida

    I don’t like old people. Old people have scared me since I was a kid at my father’s funeral. They kept coming by the row of chairs, hugging my mother, and then standing there smiling and staring at me. Then they’d take my hand and squeeze it. Their hands were ice-cold, and had big brown spots all over them. They smelled of talcum powder.

  • Published
    April 26, 2013

    “Let’s go dancing”

    You can dance inches or feet apart. You can swirl and jab, punch at the sky and work up a sweat and it’s dancing.

  • Published
    April 19, 2013

    ‘No more hurting people … Peace’

    Each week I try to make myself laugh in hopes that it will make you laugh, and when I do, it shatters the darkness.

  • Published
    April 12, 2013

    The changing of the apron

    As his empty nest soon sees the return of its matron, J.P. Devine’s “Home Daddy” ways are about to change.

  • Published
    April 5, 2013

    I remember

    I had a good idea for a column this morning, but I didn’t write it down and then I forgot it. Maybe it’s the cold or the wind. I can’t ever remember not being a great rememberer.

  • Published
    March 29, 2013

    Not another egg coloring, chocolate bunny, religious Easter column

    OK, this is my Easter column. It’s Good Friday, and I have no idea what to write about. I’ve written more than 29 years of Easter columns.