Recent events in Waterville have raised, again, issues about sexual abuse, dividing members of the community.

Rape and sexual assault are the most underreported violent crimes in the United States, in part because victims fear that no one will believe them. When an alleged offender is a beloved member of the community and in a position of power, the fear victims have that they won’t be believed is amplified. Add to that the support many alleged perpetrators receive when allegations first come to light, and it is no wonder that these crimes go unreported.

As someone who has worked with victims of sexual abuse and violence for more than 25 years, I know how difficult it is for victims to come forward and report the abuse and violence they’ve experienced. Many of the calls we get to Maine’s sexual assault crisis and support line are from victims who experienced sexual abuse as children or teens and never felt as though they could come forward.

When we think of perpetrators of sexual violence, most of us think of strangers or monsters because the violence they perpetrate is terrible and often has long-lasting consequences. It’s hard to imagine that someone who is loved, respected and who has done great things is also someone who can victimize another person. It shakes our beliefs about people we respect to our core. We know from the research, however, that a vast majority of perpetrators don’t fall into the stereotype of the stranger in the bushes.

In fact, most often, perpetrators are trusted, respected members of our communities — the Jerry Sanduskys, the Jared Fogles and the beloved athletic stars. It’s often the people we least suspect, which makes it even more difficult for victims to come forward and talk about the abuse they’ve suffered.

In the Waterville Senior High School case, little information has been available publicly, primarily because of important protections afforded to the student. This meant that the alleged perpetrator of a potential crime — via his attorney — had a much louder voice than any victim could have ever had in such a circumstance. The balance of such a situation is that the victim’s perspective is missing.

“In a vacuum that didn’t allow details of the charges to be made public, the little information that was being made public did more harm than good,” noted Maureen Milliken, news editor for the Kennebec Journal and Morning Sentinel, in her Nov. 18 column, “Waterville area’s tragic, divisive weeks challenge everyone.”

Situations like this are a breeding ground for misinformation, rumor and — what sexual assault advocates know all too well — victim blaming.

What has been largely missing in the coverage in this case is that victims do have support in our community. That support at times has been drowned out by other perspectives, since cases of this type often elicit strong feelings and opinions. Everyone has the right to express their ideas, but we must recognize that how much support the victim receives undoubtedly has an effect on whether other victims will come forward in the future. If the message they hear is that they won’t be believed, they will be less likely to report abuse.

Our message is simple. Support is available. Local sexual assault support center advocates are available to support victims and listen. They need to know they are not alone. Victims have a right to come forward when they feel safe to do so, a right to support, a right to know that healing is possible.

My hope for our community is that in the coming days, weeks, months and years, as we heal from this difficult issue, we will approach each other with respect and kindness — and know that support is just a phone call away at the 24-hour confidential support line, 800-871-7741, or through the website, www.silentnomore.org.

Donna Strickler is the executive director of Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Center, which serves Kennebec and Somerset counties. Email at director@silentnomore.org.

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