Time isnât healing Lisa Colferâs wounds, itâs just numbing the pain.
Then something happens. It might be as simple as song on the radio or the look on the face of some young girl she sees at the store, and it turns the knife that has been in Colferâs heart since her daughter, Brittney LaBrie, passed away in October.
But Colfer ran head-first toward the pain this week when she returned to the place, to the people, that Brittney loved best in this world.
âThis past week has been hell on me,â Colfer said. âI havenât been able to go up to the cemetery since the first snow storm, and itâs killing me. I still expect her to walk through the door. Itâs just, I donât know, hard.â
Brittney was just 17 years old last October when she was hit by a car while crossing Bangor Street. She died four days later.
From the very first moments after Brittneyâs passing, her mom set about the task of creating a scholarship fund to benefit a student at Laurieâs School of Dance in Winslow.
âDance was Brittney,â Colfer said. âShe loved to dance. She wanted to go to (The Juilliard School) in New York when she graduated. The passion she had was wonderful. She just glowed.â
Laurie Levasseur, known affectionately to her students as Ms. Laurie, met Brittney as a 5-year-old learning how to twirl to the music.
âShe was very quiet,â Levasseur said. âFor her to come up to me and ask me a question was a big deal. Sheâd do whatever I said.â
The dance studio became like a second home to Brittney.
âShe loved Ms. Laurie to pieces,â Colfer said.
Even before Brittneyâs death, Levasseur had planned to have the seniors in her class dance to Gunâs nâ Rosesâ âSweet Child Oâ Mineâ by the Vitamin String Quartet.
When Brittney died, Levasseur approached her seniors about dedicating the performance to Brittney.
âI thought it was great,â said Erskine Academy senior Megan McQuarrie. â(Brittney) would have been with us.â
The decision to dedicate the dance to Brittney has helped keep her memory at the forefront throughout the hours of practice.
âWhenever we were practicing, Ms. Laurie would say, âDo it for Brittney,'â said Winslow High School senior Rebecca Sirois.
McQuarrie was in Levasseurâs office when Colfer called with news of Brittneyâs death. Levasseur was one of the first people Colfer told.
âIn her momâs eyes, this place was important to Brittney and it was one of the first places she wanted to tell,â Levasseur said.
âIâm a quiet, shy girl kind of like her,â Sirois said. âI always felt welcome at the studio and I still do. Thereâs nothing to worry about when youâre in the studio.â
And Brittney, like all teens, sometimes needed to escape, a chance to be free of dealing with life.
âBrittney was just of that wanted to find her place,â Levasseur said. âThe studio was part of it. She was a great kid.â
Levasseur recalled the time Brittany fell during a performance and Levasseurâs daughter, just a few years older than Brittney, went out of her way to console the crushed student.
Brittney went out of her way to get the address for Levasseurâs daughter in New York to send a thank you note. The memory still touches Levasseur.
âShe was quiet, but in the back of her mind, she was always thinking of other people,â Levasseur said. âShe was a very thoughtful kid.â
When it came time to say good-bye at Brittneyâs funeral, the dancers â including Levasseur, Sirois, McQuarrie and two others â bid farewell the best way they knew how, with a reverence, or bow, that marks the end of every dance class.
âWe stood in front of Brittney and reverenced her for the last time,â Levasseur said. âYou donât leave my studio until youâve reverenced.â
Colfer is thrilled that the scholarship created in Brittneyâs name will help other young dancers keep performing. Colfer has already raised $600, almost all of it from family members.
âMy whole family has helped me,â she said.
The first scholarship went to Brittneyâs niece, Breona Henderson, 13, of Waterville. Breona was presented the scholarship, along with the plaque Colfer had made that will carrry the names of all the scholarship recipients, during an emotional ceremony held during Thursdayâs recital dress rehearsal at the Messalonskee Performing Arts Center in Oakland.
âWhen Brittney died, it took a bad toll on my daughter,â Colfer said. âShe missed a lot of work. She was unable to pay for Breonaâs costume.â
Brittney and Breona, just a few years apart in age, felt an uncommon bond built, in part, on dance.
âBrittney would have wanted this,â Colfer said.
Colfer is hoping to continue building up the scholarship to help students in financial need.
âIt was just something I had to do for Brittney,â Colfer said. âShe was very much loved. Brittney was a beautiful person. I know sheâs looking down and sheâs smiling about this.â
To donate to the Brittney LaBrie Scholarship fund, send a check or money order to the Brittney LaBrie Memorial Fund, c/o Lisa Colfer, 41 Keith Street, Chelsea, ME 04330.
Craig Crosby â 621-5642
ccrosby@centralmaine.com
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