Dear Annie: My husband insists we have brunch every Sunday with his grown children and mine. Because he works extremely long hours and we don’t get to spend enough quality time together, I would like to use that time to do things for the two of us now that we are empty nesters.

I love my husband, but wonder if all I am to him is a glorified homemaker and workhorse. He never touches me anymore, and I’m not entirely sure he really loves me. When I asked him to reserve Sundays for us, he became angry and said he will spend time with his kids without me. I love my children, too, but I don’t need to have them around me all the time.

Am I an awful person for feeling this way? I think my kids should have their own lives and let us live ours. My husband is the one who refuses to let go of his children and doesn’t want to spend time with me, his new wife. By the way, his children have told me he is smothering them, but they are afraid to tell him to back off. Should I tell him? — Lonely in the Deep Woods

Dear Lonely: Most parents would be ecstatic to have brunch with their grown children every Sunday. And frankly, it only consumes a couple of hours in an entire week, giving you plenty of time to spend with your husband. The problem, apparently, is that you believe your husband uses that time to avoid you.

Let his kids handle the smothering. Also, if you and your children don’t care to participate, fine, although these brunches sound like a good opportunity for family bonding. Instead of focusing on Sunday mornings, suggest engaging activities for the two of you at other times. And please consider counseling. There are obviously other issues in your marriage that you need to deal with.

Dear Annie: A dear friend recently informed me that she is engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor. I’m honored and happy for her.

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The problem is, she is 19 and the man she’s engaged to is 50, with two sons older than she is. My friend is a smart, beautiful, wonderful girl, and I cannot understand why she wants to marry someone so much older. I worry that she will regret going through with this marriage. I want her to be with someone she can start a life with, rather than jumping into a life that’s already half-lived.

Should I tell her how I feel? How can I be her maid of honor when I don’t actually approve of the marriage? — Confused Friend

Dear Confused: Talk to your friend. Tell her how concerned you are. Encourage her to discuss the relationship, and perhaps she will convince you that she’s making the right decision. But if you still cannot support the marriage, it is OK to tell her you don’t feel comfortable being her maid of honor.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Disappointed Grandma,” whose grandchildren never thanked her for gifts. A few years ago, I picked up a brand-new cute little purse for 50 cents at a garage sale. I gave it to my 6-year-old daughter, who put it with her stash of purses and didn’t use it for a year.

The following summer, we packed her for a trip to Grandma’s house, and she chose to take this particular purse. She discovered two crisp, neatly folded $20 bills inside the zippered section.

We realized that someone must have received this purse as a gift. Had they written their thank-you note, they surely would have been asked if they had checked the inside pocket. — B.S.

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