Dear Annie: My husband of 28 years has been having long, intimate text conversations with his father’s hospice nurse for several months while they both are caring for my dying father-in-law. My husband does this for hours every day.

I have told them that I would like one of them to stop working with my father-in-law. Neither has been willing. His whole family is standing behind this relationship and feels the two of them are wonderful for each other and a new start would be great because both are in “loveless” marriages.

It is clear to me that they want to be together. They have expressed deep love for each other and have been intimate. I am brokenhearted and want out. My marriage has always been stressful and occasionally abusive. We were hanging in there, but by a string. This just seals the deal.

Today, one sister is going to ask the nurse to step down. I no longer care and plan to move on. Should I be honest and tell them to just keep her there, since I no longer wish to continue in this marriage? I actually feel it would be best for everyone. — Broken Beyond Repair in Ontario

Dear Broken: Then go right ahead. Your marriage is not healthy, and it sounds like it hasn’t been for a long time. We never recommend that people stay with abusers. If you would be happier without this man in your life, then let him go.

We can assure you, however, that relationships that occur during an emotionally trying time often don’t last when the situation resolves itself. When your father-in-law no longer needs this type of care, your husband may discover that his passion for the nurse has dissipated. And we won’t get into the ethics of a hospice nurse carrying on with a married family member. Shame on both of them.

Dear Annie: “Wondering in Clinton Township” thought it strange that her sister objects to mail addressed to “Aunt Frances.” From the time I knew how to send letters (of thanks and of conversation), I addressed those letters to “Grandma and Grandpa,” “Aunt Carolyn” and “Uncle Bill.”

I’m in my 30s now, and I still address letters and packages home to “Mom and Dad,” and correspondence to my brothers is sent to “The Future Doctor” and to “Josh’s Dad.” Letters and cards are personal things, and there’s no reason that the address cannot be as personal as the sender and recipient would be in a face-to-face conversation. — Longview, Wash.

Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.