Sen. Chris Johnson, D-Somerville has a cause: apostrophe correctness. The newspaper reports that he seeks a law moving the apostrophe in Patriot’s Day to the end of the word.

Let’s hope he doesn’t stop there. If he’s really ready to buckle down, he can start working with our congressional delegation to fix Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

And what about poor, bereft Veterans Day? It has no apostrophe at all, grievously shortchanging, among others, the very veterans who are already suffering the errant Patriot’s apostrophe.

Valentine’s Day is a gray area. Are we honoring Saint Valentine (and if we are, why?), or are we honoring our Valentines? I know which it is at my house. Let’s get on it.

Other instances demand action. The United States, Canada and Lithuania share the dubious distinction of celebrating Boss’s Day. That would take even more work to fix. Not only would the apostrophe have to move. An “e” would have to be added, as well. But it could pay. Fixing it might inspire indignant bosses who moved their factories to China out of spite to bring them home again.

Lawmakers will be relieved to know, however, that we get it right with Administrative Professionals’ Day. That’s probably why so few of them have followed their bosses to China.


I don’t know where to begin with National S’mores Day. It might require a federal study commission.

And as the newspaper astutely points out (farmers, farmer’s, or farmers’ markets?), holidays are just the tip of the apostropheberg. Woman’s Day Magazine and Outdoor Sportsman could learn something from Ladies’ Home Journal and Gentlemen’s Quarterly.

But the important thing is that we’ve made a start. Thank you, Chris, for sending up the May Day. Or May’s Day. Or Mays’ Day.


Charlie Bernstein, Augusta

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