Election officials serve as ghostbusters

Have you heard the eerie sounds at the Blaine House? It’s as if chains are being dragged through the halls and rooms, much as if Jacob Marley and his cohorts were haunting the place. It may be a modern-day spirit tormenting Gov. LePage, reminding him of the scores of deceased souls ready to cast votes on Election Day in November.

Apparently the governor’s faith has been shaken by the work of election officials statewide to root out those departed souls from active voter lists. After all, we’ve read that efforts to do this in Philadelphia, New York City, and Chicago have failed and a major run on the ballot box by these spirits is imminent.

Will Maine spirits (or their surrogates) visit polling places in November creating massive voter fraud? Will local election officials be hoodwinked into believing bereaved souls have returned and be issued ballots to complete? Should exorcists be added to a polling site’s staff to cope with these souls so wanting so badly to participate in this year’s election proceedings?

Truthfully, registrars in Maine’s cities and towns have culled the lists, removed the deceased, and kept folks who passed from registering again. Persons presenting themselves to vote and not being registered won’t be issued a ballot. A spirit appearing on Election Day to register and vote won’t have his dog-eared ID and proof of residence recognized by election officials. Besides, the “ghostbusters” on duty at the polls will have done their job, pointed them out, and shooed them away.

Recent inquiries into Maine’s ballot process has uncovered almost no spirits corrupting the election results. Paul LePage and Ebeneezer Scrooge should sleep quietly remembering the words of Tiny Tim, “God bless us, everyone!”

F. Gerard Nault

Windsor

Related Stories