What’s all this about Donald Trump being the “Antichrist?” Someone, on one of the social media pages, claims that a priest in Rome made that claim. You may scoff, but I don’t know.

Because almost everything I know was learned in the movies. It was in Richard Donner’s great 1976 film “The Omen” that I first heard the expression.

With a little research, I came up with this from Hannah Gais’ “Apocalyptic Thinking in the Age of Trump.” OMG. It’s very scary and timely. Hannah says, “But while the question of whether Donald Trump is an — or even the — Antichrist may be impossible to answer, the fact that the apocalyptic figure has even made an appearance in this election cycle is notable for what it says about the country as a whole.” OK, now I’m listening.

“Some,” Hannah claims, “ saw Hillary Clinton as their demonic archetype.” Wait a minute. Hillary was the Antichrist? So the Antichrist wore pantsuits? That’s a bit too far even for me.

Then there’s this stuff about “the two beasts,” and how one of them is tattooed with the number 666. I learned most of this over lattes and cookies with Katherine, my barista at Starbucks. Katherine, who goes to St. Albans’ Union Church, is a serious expert on the Bible and especially revelations.

It gets richer and darker. There’s this news about Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. It seems that Jared’s real estate company is headquartered at 666 5th Ave in Manhattan (666, did you get that?). Check it out, it’s a really loaded number.

Do you think that this made such an impression on Christians in the ’30s, that when reading all 1,037 pages of “Gone With the Wind” they skipped page 666?

“Jared,” Hannah tells us, “promises better relations with Russia, a country that figures prominently in 20th and 21st century apocalyptic tales.” I’ll bet you didn’t know that.

But wait. Is she suggesting that Jared and Donald may be the “two beasts,” talked about in the New Testament’s Revelations where it promises the coming of “end of times?”

The whole end of times thing has long kept me awake nights. What if it’s true, and it comes suddenly, as during the 2020 election? Who will get the blame for that? The Democrats or the GOP, or just bipartisan sinners? Russian interference? We’re talking celestial hacking here.

I was going to put all of this on The Donald’s Facebook page, but I figure he’s got a lot on his plate now, what with dealing with the hurricane and devastation in Alabama.

I do sympathize with what he has had to put up with these past years, what with the trust problem around him.

As everyone in the White House is being specially nice to him, he doesn’t know whom to trust, especially when they all suspect that this is his last year in that room.

I picture a lot of hugging, back slapping, fist bumps and rubbing of his shoulders going on. Don’t you?

Then again, he’s probably enjoying the attention. But those engaging in all of this faux flattery should be careful. Ingratiation is an art form and has to be done with practice. Too little won’t get you an “acting” temporary cabinet position, especially with someone with such a massive ego, and he’ll see right through an overplay.

Soldiers in the Mafia learned this when dealing with the late John Gotti, who had an ego twice the size of The Donald. Gotti knew that ingratiation was first perfected in ancient Rome, and he was on to it.

I would imagine that just before Brutus shoved in the fatal knife, he may have softened it by first praising Caesar for his new hair cut and toga.

And history tells us that it worked well in 1793 for royalist Charlotte Corday, who stabbed revolutionist Jean Paul Marat while he was taking his bath. I’m told she came with praise and a kitchen knife under her dress. True story, and you can Google that after breakfast.

I’m confident that Joe Biden will use some of those techniques when he faces Donald on the debate stage. Joe is very Irish, you know, a master of “Blarney.” I’ll bet he’ll probably start with the handshake and then with a worried frown, adding, “Mr. President, I’m a little nervous. I’ve been out of this game for some time, and this is my first time with someone of such polished oratorical skills, so go easy on me, OK?”

Watch his hands, Donald, watch his hands.

J.P. Devine is a Waterville writer. 

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