When the coronavirus crisis began, I joked that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do this exercise in tomfoolery this year.
The sports haiku is my spring tradition. I don’t ever take it too seriously, at least not as seriously as some well-intentioned, poetry-loving readers who have reached out to me over the years seem to. I have fun with it, and I hope that is conveyed to the reader.
I wasn’t sure if I would do a haiku column this year, because I wondered where the heck I would draw source material with the sporting world shut down. It turned out, there was plenty of stuff worth bludgeoning with snarky haiku.
There’s an ongoing debate, are sports an escape from the rigors of daily life, or a reflection of them? The truth is somewhere in the middle, and that’s why this baker’s dozen haiku can’t help but address the current climate in some way. That said, please take them in the spirit of fun with which they’ve been intended since I started this nonsense more than a decade ago.
In other parts of this paper (or web site, if you read online), you’ll find stories from my colleagues addressing the important issues facing us all. Thank you for giving us your time. If I can entertain you for a spell while they inform you, I’ll be thrilled.
Stay healthy, stay safe, and thank you for reading. Now, on to the bad poetry.
High School Spring Sports
What would you give now
To bundle up, gloves muffle
Early spring applause
The Last Dance
Jordan is the GOAT
Eighty-six Celts still better
Than ninety-six Bulls
The Masters
Lonely dogwoods sit
November chill, not spring hope
“Hello friends” on hold
Kyle Dugger
Never heard of him
Small school, potential to burn
Go Lenoir-Rhyne go!
LA Rams
Demby and Edwards
Coen too, west coast Black Bears
Orono pipeline
Kentucky Derby
A fond memory
Quebec City pub, race on
Shouts in French, such fun
NCAA Tournament
March Madness halted
Maine win streak, Stony Brook next?
Taken by virus
Jeremy Swayman
Almost won Hobey
Still black bear, now a Bruin
Not a sieve, brick wall
James Develin
Built for fourth and short
Destroyer of linebackers
Ivy League throwback
New-Look Patriots
No Brady, no Gronk
Refreshing questions, unknown
Don’t mourn, celebrate
Red Sox Punishment
Let’s check the replay
Watkins takes the fall for all
No trash cans were banged
Mookie Betts
Hollywood Mookie
On hold, like everything
You’re cheap, Henry. Cheap!
Sports Nostalgia
Sox win! Bruins win!
Celts, Pats, Black Bears, on repeat
Past is all we have
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