I am nobody’s fan girl, but Dame Judi Dench won me over with her YouTube video on knee replacement surgery.

She did not have to talk me into doing it. I had just gotten my new knee and was finally going to look online to see what had happened in the operating room. Her video popped up.

In it, Dench talks about how she felt physically and psychologically before surgery, and precisely summed up my feelings. Like her, I have no doubts that knee replacement was the right choice for me.

My right knee had been “dodgy” (as Dench would describe it) for years, but it started to become truly problematic in the summer of 2020. Of course it did. Everything was going wrong, so why not my knee?

It took me until the following spring to get help for it. Then I learned I had bone-on-bone arthritis in both knees. Barely any cartilage left. I hoped interim measures might help. Steroid shots were amazing — for a few weeks.

A compounded pain lotion provided some relief, but I was still stiff. I am an avid walker, and would previously loosen up after five minutes or so of striding. But by the fall of 2021, it was taking me longer to get limber, and sometimes I would do a whole walk with a stiff knee, which was no fun at all.

Knee surgery could not happen right away, though, because I also had a hiatal hernia, which needed to be repaired. That procedure went well, but an unfortunate complication landed me in the critical care unit for eight days, unable to eat or drink.

After that, I was in no mood to return to the hospital. Unfortunately, my right knee was getting progressively worse. I used to take the stairs for exercise. Now, I was looking for the elevator. Using my home exercycle was not painful because it avoided putting weight on my knee. I began choosing it more.

But I still had to go about my daily life. Walking brings me psychological and physical benefits. Most of all, I hated the limping and the unwanted attention it brought. As Dench says in the video, “The more it hurts, the more you limp and the first thing anyone says is: ‘Oh, my goodness. How are you doing?’ So really it’s your pride that should get you going” to have knee surgery.

Yes, it was embarrassing. My limp also taught me a little about what people with physical differences must endure. Perfect strangers would comment on it. I tried to tell myself that people thought they were being either caring or jocular, but I decided life was too short (and my knee hurt too much) for me to delude myself in that manner. These people were rude.

Even offers of help seemed condescending to me.

Perhaps I was grumpy because it is hard to sleep with arthritic knee pain. As Dench points out in her video, “It’s hard to get into the proper position.”

My mood improved when I met with the orthopedic surgeon and selected the next available date for my surgery. I knew it was the right thing to do.

As the time got closer, I had some 2-o’clock-in-the-morning thoughts about my leg being cut open. I had never had an epidural and worried a bit about that. But my hopes outweighed my fears. I wanted to be able to get up from sitting without feeling like I was 102 years old and walk without a limp. If I can ice skate again next winter, bonus.

The surgery was completed last week, and so far, so good. I was sent home the same day, but before I left, I had a session of physical therapy that included walking down a long hallway and climbing a few stairs. I could not believe I was even moving just a couple of hours after surgery.

The next day, however, was just awful. I had been given an injection into my thigh to block pain and when it wore off, I suffered. Between the migraine headaches that I used to get frequently and the arthritis, I felt I was no stranger to agony. Little did I know. I broke down and cried.

Then, in late afternoon, I realized I was not at a pain level of 10 anymore. I had gone down to an eight. The pain slowly subsided to a dull roar, and I was able to get a good night’s sleep on two Tylenol.

Since then, I have been hobbling around on my walker, sometimes even cheerfully. Of course, I had to add a basket with a cupholder so I could tote around my current book, phone and water bottle. Three times a day, I am doing a round of exercises. I am icing frequently. Oh, yes, I have an electric icing machine by my side — “The Iceman,” it is called.

Dame Judi describes herself as an optimist. She had the surgery at age 78, and managed to recover in six weeks so she could attend the premiere of her 2013 film, “Philomena.”

I do not have anything so glamorous on the horizon, but I am an optimist, too. Every so often, I sneak a look at my ice skates, hanging on the back of the door.

They are ready when I am.

Liz Soares welcomes email at lizzie621@icloud.com.

« Previous

Liz Soares: Lost and found lessons from 1939

Next »

Liz Soares: Learning to do what’s right for me