You wouldn’t know from looking at me but at one point in my life, I caused a bit of an uproar with my hair.

I had shaved the bottom of my head. The top was about three inches long, bleached platinum blonde, with the bottom kept brown, and I wore it spiked. A few months later, I died it purple.

The controversy was whether I could remain a cheerleader with such “inappropriate” hair. There were no rules in the handbook about hair, so my cheerleading career was safe; though, after that season, I did conclude I wasn’t made to stand on the sidelines.

I found myself thinking about my hair recently when I read that the National Institutes of Health released a major study this week linking hair-straightening products to an increased risk of uterine cancer. People who used hair-straightening products were more than twice as likely to develop uterine cancer than those who did not. While the study didn’t find a correlation between straightener use and uterine cancer occurrence by race, it noted that rates of uterine cancer among Black women have been rising, perhaps due to higher use of such products.

The amount of time and money that women are forced to spend on their looks to be accepted in our society is absurd. We contour, we dye, we buy scarves to cover our necks, creams to melt our wrinkles — spoiler, they don’t work! — we nip, we tuck, we straighten, we curl, we cinch, we wax. We buy clothes that make us look attractive but not too attractive, so men aren’t distracted. We’re expected to use our pay to fit standards men don’t have, but we aren’t given equal pay. Men are excused from these problems; every woman must face them. And the fashion, beauty, and health care industries benefit from it. Everything on our bodies is scrutinized, but often our hair gets the most attention.

For Black women, hair bias and racial discrimination in schools, the workplace, and even in the military has led to the introduction of the CROWN Act, federal legislation that prohibits discrimination based on hair texture or hairstyle. (Maine passed its own version last year.)

But even if it were to become federal law, societal pressures won’t disappear overnight. Will those pressures continue to be so overwhelming that women will put their very lives at risk just to fit in?

Black women aren’t alone in discrimination and double standards. As I watched the news, I realized that on any network, you can quickly spot men with gray hair. I can’t think of a single female reporter with gray hair. Indeed, a longtime Canadian anchor was fired with whispers that her decision to go gray during the pandemic sealed her fate. The message is clear: Want to report the news as a woman? Don’t go gray. How many prominent male politicians can you name who have gray (or white!) hair? Now try to do the same with women. In fact, throughout society, men with gray hair are “distinguished” if not “sexy.” Whereas women are “old.” And being “old” is bad if you’re a woman.

Women may face similar problems as men do with their hair, but we aren’t allowed the same solutions. Men who have thinning or balding hair often shave their heads, though I recognize that not all men are satisfied with this. But it’s generally not deemed acceptable for women to share their heads. Women are therefore relegated to wearing wigs or having creative hairstyles to cover our “problem” areas. Men can wake up with “bedhead” and make it so trendy it inspires a haircut for others. Conversely, women are marketed with endless products to avoid bedhead and taught to master the perfect ponytail or a chic, messy bun.

When I walked into a hair salon for the first time in almost three years this Wednesday, I considered whether I should cover the few gray hairs I have. (I didn’t.) However, before I got my hair done, I sent recent photos to family and friends asking for advice. “Am I too old to pull off long hair?” “How long is too long?” “What style looks best on me?” Most had opinions. One said, “Do what you want to do.”

This morning, I realized my teenage self wouldn’t have cared what others thought. I think that’s how women need to approach their hair. We need to do what we want. Love your gray? Keep it! Hate it? Cover it up! Prefer braids or twists? Spectacular! “Do what you want to do.” But don’t conform to the standards others set for you.

Let’s insist that society accept women as we want to be, not the other way around. It’s 2022. Not 1822. Isn’t it time we act like it?

Hilary Koch lives in Waterville. She can be reached at: hilarykoch@pm.me

 

 

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