“Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Kids and Their Allies” includes a number of activities for adults and children of different ages.
Here are some examples:
INFANCY (AGES 0-1)
OK, these ideas are really for parents. Amer offers suggestions about the gender reveal party (skip it), the nursery (try a gender-neutral theme such as the ocean) and baby clothes.
“As long as you avoid ‘future ladies’ man’ onesies and others that perpetuate harmful gender and sexuality assumptions, the rest of the infancy clothing industry is yours to explore! You have even more baby clothes to choose from than you might think. Why not put your assigned-male baby in a dress? Why not put your assigned-female baby in cute little overalls and a cap?”
TODDLERS (AGES 1-2)
Toddlers are “tiny human sponges,” says Amer. They soak up and internalize the information around them. Amer says adults can teach children to love their bodies, to understand consent around their body and to communicate their body’s needs. One way to teach kids about consent, Amer writes, is to ask if it is OK to hug them.
“If a child is taught that they own their body and are the only person who can give consent to others to be in their space and do things – anything – to their body, then they will understand when someone is crossing their personal bodily boundaries without their permission.”
PRE-K (AGE 3)
Amer calls this stage “the Crucial Years.” This chapter focuses on how to start talking about pronouns, gender and sexuality. For example, Amer says adults can help kids recognize the feeling of gender euphoria, or when they feel happy about their gender expression. Amer noted that the American Academy of Pediatrics has found that most children have a solid understanding of their gender identity by the age of 4.
“Help them pick out their outfit for school and ask them how it makes them feel and why. Maybe they love their dress with sunflowers on it because the color yellow makes them happy and the dress spins around them when they twirl outside. Or maybe they love their green corduroy overalls because they can run fast outside and feel all cozy when they’re snuggled up on the couch reading a book with you. Whatever their reasons, get them to observe and think about how they express themselves to the world and how that matches up with how they feel inside.”
ELEMENTARY SCHOOLERS (AGES 4+)
Amer writes that elementary schoolers are ready for bigger words and concepts. “Don’t get nervous that a concept is too big or hard. Let them lead the way.” This chapter covers a host of topics, including how to “learn your LGBTs.” Amer suggests making Pride flags with kid to help them latch on to bigger vocabulary and ideas.
“So grab your kid, some paper, a few crayons, and pick a flag, any flag! You’ll be coloring for hours! You can even make your very own flags for your unique identities and have a conversations about different families and gender and love while you create together.”
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