A few weeks ago, I had a challenging situation at work that led to a heated confrontation with my boss. I got passionate. I yelled at my boss, I bumped into him, and he stumbled. The incident unfolded in front of several witnesses, leaving me feeling regretful and realizing that I had crossed a line.

Upon reflection and discussing the situation with my brother, I was reminded of the strong bond I share with my boss, almost akin to family. My brother also emphasized my competence and dedication to my work, highlighting that such passion is integral to achieving excellence. While emotions may occasionally flare, my boss understood the context of the incident, even if others may have misinterpreted it. What can I say? I’m a passionate woman. Right?

I realize my behavior seems shocking, doesn’t it? I must clarify that the actions recounted are not my own. I didn’t yell or shove my boss — but Travis Kelce did. In full view of millions of spectators, Kelce engaged in a heated altercation with his coach, Andy Reid, culminating in a forceful chest bump that caused Reid to stagger. And though Kelce and Reid addressed the incident briefly after the game, Kelce hasn’t really accepted full responsibility. Furthermore, Kelce should have faced some form of official reprimand or consequence for his actions.

If you watched the game, or if you followed the news, you couldn’t have missed the coverage. The moment came during the second quarter after Kelce was placed on the sidelines and Isiah Pacheco was sent in. Pacheco fumbled the ball, and Kelce unleashed his rage at his 65-year-old head coach. Reid seemingly ignored him until he received a chest bump from Kelce that knocked him off balance and almost onto the ground.

I’ve heard people say, “But Kelce apologized …” or “Kelce admitted he crossed the line,” and they’ve referenced Kelce’s podcast with his brother as evidence. These statements are true, but they must have missed the rest of their post-Super Bowl podcast, “New Heights,” in which the Kelce brothers discuss the event at length and largely dismiss and excuse Travis’ behavior.

Travis Kelce admits early in the podcast that his emotions sometimes “get away from” him. His brother, Jason, agrees and they both admit that a line was crossed. However, they are quick to offer an explanation that perception isn’t reality. Jason outlines how Travis has a familial relationship with Reid. He further insists that the level of “insanity” that Travis exhibited is necessary to be the best, “You don’t become the best tight end in the world by being a f***ing reasonable level-headed f***ing person … you [get to] be the best in the world by being an insane human being.”

Though what fans witnessed was clearly rage and anger, the Kelce brothers repeatedly use the word “passion” in its place. Travis explained, “My passion comes out and it looks like negativity,” and, “It was me showing my passion and frustration…”

And so, while most of the world heard an apology, I heard a man excuse his bad behavior through the finessing of language. Rage or anger became “passion” — evidently the new codeword for toxic masculinity. And it’s alarming to hear anyone suggest such behavior is not only necessary to be “the best” but that it should also be acceptable between people who care about each other. At one point, Travis tried to interrupt but his brother didn’t let him. He wanted to finish his thought. Travis should have contradicted him. He didn’t.

A brother may always defend his brother. But the NFL giving Kelce a full-on pass is unacceptable. No work environment should tolerate such behavior. Or do the rules shift depending on the offender? In 2016, Hope Solo was suspended by the U.S. Soccer Federation for six months from the national team after saying the Swedish national soccer team played “like a bunch of cowards.” In 2018, Serena Williams was fined $17,000 for calling the U.S. Open umpire a thief and a liar. Don’t we need consequences for all misconduct? Is the message, “Ladies better behave like ladies,” but, “Boys will be boys”?

No. Rage isn’t “passion,” and a shove isn’t an expression of love. The premise that men can’t control their anger and we should expect it to manifest in physical altercations is terrifying. Precisely because this isn’t just about Travis Kelce. Or football. Or even sports. Kelce is a symbol of excellence and a role model for countless individuals. Therefore, his conduct carries significant weight, not just within professional settings but also in personal relationships. While maintaining a close bond with his coach is admirable, Kelce must uphold professionalism in the workplace. If he can’t do it, there must be repercussions. If Travis Kelce aspires to be a true “champion,” then his conduct must reflect it too.

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