When my wife was growing up in Chicago, her Great-Aunt Loretta declared, “Jane, you can marry anyone you want, so long as he’s Irish, Catholic and a Democrat.” Jane followed her advice, though it took a couple of decades.

In those days, Mayor Daley ruled Chicago, and John Kennedy ruled the country. It was a good time to be an Irish Catholic Democrat.

It hadn’t come easy. In the 1950s, Americans were worried that a Catholic elected official would take instructions from bishops and popes. Kennedy famously went to a conference of Protestant ministers in Houston to declare, “I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute – where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic) how to act.”

Kennedy won the election with 83% of the Catholic vote. That was then. Now we have America’s second Catholic president, Joe Biden, who goes to Mass every Sunday and is faithful to his wife. Yet 64% of Catholic voters view him unfavorably. In a head-to-head contest with a man of no apparent religious beliefs, accused by dozens of women of sexual abuse, involved in over 3,000 lawsuits for bad business practices, found guilty by a jury of criminal tax fraud – we’re talking Donald Trump, here – this spring Catholic voters favored Trump over Biden by 12 points.

What changed in 64 years? One word: abortion. The Roe v. Wade decision in 1972 legalized abortion across the country and in the process turned it into a national issue. The Catholic Church hierarchy declared it to be “murder” and called for a legal ban. The growing women’s movement declared it a matter of “choice” and called for government to stay away. Over time, Democratic candidates gravitated toward choice, Republicans toward restrictions. Though Catholic voters themselves have views on abortion not very unlike the rest of the country – 56% favoring legality in most cases, 42% supporting illegality in most cases – the leadership of the American Catholic Church has gradually moved into a de facto alliance with the Republican Party.

Does this alliance make sense? The basic assumption of the American bishops’ political strategy is that a government ban would be effective in reducing abortions. But think a moment. Three-quarters of abortions are sought for economic reasons. It costs over $300,000 to raise a child to age 17 in the United States. The cost of an abortion is usually under $2,000. With such a financial gap, would a government ban really prevent a woman from seeking an abortion if she couldn’t afford an additional child? Research says no. Abortion rates are substantially the same in countries that ban abortion as in countries where abortion is legal. In some cases, abortion rates are lower in countries where abortion is legal than in countries where it is not. For example, the abortion rate in France, where abortion is legal, is 14 per 1,000 women aged 15-49. The abortion rate in Brazil, where abortion is illegal, is 33 per 1,000 women age 15-40.

Why would this be? The difference is that France provides economic and social support to young parents in raising their children and Brazil does not. France has generous parental leave at a child’s birth; specialized and low-cost child care for infants and early childhood education; national health insurance; and generous postsecondary scholarships for vocational school and college. Parents who want to have children are better able to afford to raise those children.

Let’s return to the United States. Which is the party in America that supports tax credits for children, subsidized day care, generous parental leave policies, health insurance for children, and free or low-cost vocational and college education? The Democrats. Which is the party that opposes such programs? The Republicans. Which party’s policies are more likely to result in a lower abortion rate? The Democrats.

So, I want to appeal to Catholic voters this election year to reconsider Aunt Loretta’s advice. It’s not just about abortion. For the past 100 years, the popes have issued encyclicals calling for more support for the poor, better protection of the environment, charity toward immigrants and better health care. Democratic policies are aligned with many Catholic social teachings.

And I want to appeal to Democratic candidates to tone down their rhetoric. Abortion is not just another operation, like taking out an appendix; there are moral issues here that need attention, even if government laws aren’t the answer. Those who raise such issues should not be dismissed or demonized.

This is a year to focus on what unites us. We can build a better future for our children. I’m sorry, Aunt Loretta, we can’t all be Irish, but we can still be faithful Catholics and loyal Democrats.