Twenty-five years ago, I wrote a book about the spirit of punishment engulfing our culture. While it is primarily focused on the criminal justice system, I have become increasingly alarmed by the vitriol and violence that is encompassing our nation today. The rage to punish is not only within our justice system, it is awash in our politics and in the general population.

The Second Amendment is defended not only by the gun industry but also by the millions of people who believe they have a right to revenge. Trump’s mantra “I am your retribution” fans the flames. People for whom the American dream has died seek to punish those whom they consider responsible. People of color, immigrants and members of the LGBTQ+ community are targeted for their supposed role in displacing white men.

And now we have witnessed two assassination attempts on a presidential candidate – not the first time in our history. Such attempts are unconscionable, but the crescendo of blame and revenge is making things worse.

The rush to punishment is not limited to the United States. We have witnessed the acceleration from legitimate self-defense by Israel against the egregious terrorism of Hamas on Oct. 7 to a war of aggression that has killed thousands of innocent victims. This, in addition to the terror wreaked on Palestinians of the West Bank by settlers, the IDF, and the continuing expansion of the settlements.

Revenge is never the answer. Accountability, discipline and consequences are essential responses but are not the same as punishment. Punishment inflicts suffering on those who inflict suffering on others. Discipline, on the other hand, seeks to teach new behaviors. My involvement in the restorative justice movement has revealed the merits of focusing on face-to-face encounters, when possible, between the victims of harm and on those who created the harm.

Revenge – getting even – is something we’re all capable of. While we’ve been admonished to turn the other cheek, it is tempting instead to turn the knife. There is a certain satisfaction in harboring a grudge and in making the one who has harmed us know what it feels like for the shoe to be on the other foot. But it is not the answer.

For example, if a politician’s policies are harming people, the response should not be to threaten, belittle or dehumanize them but to vote them out. If one wants to end terrorism, the response should not be to eliminate the terrorists but to stop their actions and understand the history that has led to this point and, as much as possible, to address their reason(s) for terrorism.

Of course, there are times when the only option is to restrain evil actions. Such is the case with Russia ‘s invasion of Ukraine. Or with a mass murderer who wantonly continues to kill. Or with a serial rapist. But even in these dreadful cases the response should be to hold them accountable and to restrain them, not to seek revenge.

The tragic march in Charlottesville in 2017 was a dreadful, racist, homophobic, antisemitic attack resulting in death. President Trump said that there were fine people on both sides. While his remarks were deplorable for his failure to support the victims, at the same time it is true that everyone possesses inherent worth, the potential to grow and to change – even the perpetrators of violence and revenge. Many of those marching with hoods, swastikas and replacement-theory chants were themselves victims of a politics and culture that encourages revenge.

Last week, I encountered an angry driver in a pickup with a Confederate flag, anti-Harris signs and other negativities. My first response was a wish to destroy the vehicle. Then I realized that the driver’s anger and hurt led them to respond; they’ve been conditioned by a culture of vengeance. I also realized that my own response was vengeful. Two revenges will never lead to healing.

The way ahead is daunting and filled with potholes. Our desire for revenge is understandable but ultimately a dead end. Three things. We must find ways to understand those whom we fear or hate and to end our own rush to punishment. We must seek to elect leaders who will pursue unity rather than division, understanding rather than revenge, negotiation rather than war. Finally, we must change the systems that foster injustice and the desire for revenge. “An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.”