“Just do it.” We’ve all heard the phrase, whether from a Nike ad or motivational advice from someone who thinks we need a push. It’s the mantra of go-getters, the rallying cry of those who pride themselves on saying yes to every opportunity.

But as empowering as “Just Do It” might sound, there’s another message we often forget: “Just say no.”

Saying no — setting boundaries — can be hard, especially when society praises those who take on more and seem endlessly agreeable. Yet, some of us feel it more acutely: those conditioned to please, and to accommodate (often women). When the stakes are high, “Just do it” tends to drown out “Just say no.” Whether it’s turning down a social invite or holding your ground in a tough conversation, drawing that line can feel like walking through quicksand.

For chronic people-pleasers (guilty!), it’s downright painful. I often overexplain, apologize, and still stew with guilt long after the fact. Why? Because deep down, I want to be liked and saying no feels like I’m somehow jeopardizing that.

Here’s something that’s helped me reframe this: boundaries don’t make you a “difficult” person. They’re about standing up for what matters most to you. Think of it this way: when someone’s words, actions, or requests bump up against your core values — saying “no” — is actually saying “yes” to yourself. Letting those boundaries slip doesn’t just make room for someone else’s needs; it compromises your sense of self. Boundaries help you stay aligned with your beliefs, protecting your integrity and your well-being.

Knowing your values is one thing, but setting and sticking to boundaries is another. One piece of advice that’s really stuck with me came from Jefferson Fisher, a trial attorney who offers practical communication strategies on social media. He reminds us that setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult or rude — it’s about being clear on what you need, without apology.

Fisher’s three rules for setting boundaries have been invaluable. The first? Don’t apologize. Too often, people feel they need to soften saying “no” with an apology. Saying no isn’t a failure — it’s an assertion of your needs.

The second rule is to get comfortable with disappointing people. When you set a boundary, there’s a good chance someone won’t like it. This is probably the hardest part for those of us who aim to please. But the reality is, if you’re not disappointing someone occasionally, you’re probably not setting strong enough boundaries.

Lastly, an effective boundary needs a clear consequence. If someone crosses that line, be prepared with a response. By knowing ahead of time what action you’ll take when your boundary is breached, you’re more likely to stand firm without hesitation.

There are other stumbling blocks when setting boundaries. Overexplaining chips away at our sense of self and drains our energy. Fisher insists, “Less is more.” We’ve all been there, saying no and immediately feeling the need to offer lengthy justifications, anticipating every possible question or doubt. For me, “Just say no,” was a slogan I attributed to an ’80s anti-drug campaign and Nancy Reagan. I have a hard time, “Just saying no.” But bear this in mind, if someone has questions, they’ll ask. And even then, you don’t owe anyone an in-depth explanation. Fisher suggests we ask ourselves, “Do they really need to know, or do I just feel like they do?”

People-pleasing is another trap that keeps us from setting healthy boundaries. Fisher says, “If you’re going to people-please, make sure you’re one of them.” If you’re saying “yes” but your gut is screaming “no,” you’re doing a disservice to yourself. Each time you override your instincts to avoid disappointing someone else, you’re sidelining your own needs.

Now, for anyone reading this who feels like a kindred spirit, I know this is easier said than done. Setting boundaries, avoiding overexplaining, and saying “no” without guilt or excuses are skills that take time to develop. I’ll admit, I’m a novice.

Recently, I had two professional situations where I put my boundary-setting skills to the test. The first time, I felt the need to offer an explanation. I didn’t overexplain as I might have a year ago, but I still “set the stage” a bit. I was stressed and my heart raced. I wasn’t prepared for my colleague’s response: they thanked me for setting a boundary and articulating it. On the second occasion, I was asked to do something I wasn’t comfortable with. I simply said, “No.” I offered no explanation, but I repeated myself after my colleague pushed back. Although it was uncomfortable, standing my ground empowered me, and my colleague apologized.

The next time you’re faced with a situation that requires a boundary, remember: “No” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t need an apology or an explanation, just confidence that you’re doing what’s right for you.