My partner lived with metastatic prostate cancer for 14 years before his death in 2022. For most of that time, because of ever-evolving treatment options, his life was good. But as he ran out of options, the last two years of his life became a struggle; the cancer ate away at his bones.

Several months before his death he initiated the process required by Maine’s medically assisted suicide legislation. With the reassurance that the prescription would be there for him if and when he needed it, he endured the pain longer than I thought possible — his will to live was strong. When the pain finally became unbearable, he ended his life peacefully, as he had chosen, with family around him.

The Maine Senate has voted — 18-17 — against an amendment to the statute allowing the current waiting period between requesting and receiving the life-ending prescription to be waived at the discretion of the prescribing physician. That waiting period is currently a minimum of 17 days. The amendment will come back to the Legislature for another vote, and I hope this time it will pass.

The waiting period is designed to make sure that someone’s choice is a considered one, not an impulsive decision in a moment of crisis, when other palliative measures, often called “comfort care,” might give the suffering person a little more time. That time will still almost certainly be short: no one can qualify under the statute unless two physicians confirm that the disease is terminal, and will most probably end the patient’s life within six months.

Technically, anyone with a terminal disease who fears ending their life in pain can make the request early, as we did, perhaps when they first qualify for hospice care. Maine’s experience is that not everyone who requests the prescription goes on to use it. For some, palliative care is enough to ensure a peaceful death; for some, death anyway comes quietly. But that is not true for everyone. My partner was in hospice care, and had a bewildering array of pain medications available to him. They left him nauseous and sometimes disoriented; they did not control his pain. Nor is his case in any way unique.

So now imagine the person who did not, for whatever reason, take advantage earlier of the Death with Dignity process, but finds themselves both close to death and suffering in a way palliative care is not relieving. Should that person’s physician not be able to waive the waiting period at the patient’s request? I would not want anyone to suffer the kind of pain that my partner suffered for a day longer than they needed to, or chose to. Are we to say to that person, “I’m sorry, but you should have asked sooner?”

I wonder how many Mainers might benefit from the Death with Dignity option, but don’t even know it exists. None of us are very good at facing our mortality or preparing for death. Doctors may have a hard time appreciating that sometimes “do no harm” includes helping a patient to an easier death, or may fear eroding their patients’ trust by introducing the topic. Hospice already works hard to educate people that opting for palliative care at the end of life is not “giving up,” but may actually extend life, as well as improving its quality.

If it somehow became routine practice to make sure that any patient with a terminal condition and a limited time to live knew about the Death with Dignity option, perhaps this amendment wouldn’t be necessary. Given all the constraints, it’s hard to see that happening. In which case, the best we can do is pass it, and relieve unnecessary suffering for just a few more people at the end of their lives.