Settle down, we’ve got company coming.

The World Cup is a five-week party, and we’re hosting it for the first time in 32 years.

Doesn’t it feel like we’ve just shoved all our junk into a closet or under the bed in the hopes we can put on a brave face for the short time the guests are here? Surely we can play nice until mid-July, right? When they leave, we can go back to being a mess.

Not only is the World Cup a huge party, this time it’s the biggest one yet. Forty-eight teams, 104 matches. It starts Thursday afternoon with Mexico vs. South Africa in Mexico City.

The United States is co-hosting the World Cup with Canada and Mexico. But only around 25% of the matches will be played outside the U.S., none after the round of 16. That makes it feel less like North America’s World Cup and more like the United States as host, with cameos by Canada and Mexico.

Team USA opens play June 12 against Paraguay at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles.

Excuse me, Trav, but you can’t call it SoFi Stadium. During the World Cup, it will be Los Angeles Stadium.

Oh yeah. FIFA demanded every stadium that doesn’t carry the name of an official sponsor be renamed for the city it’s in during the tournament. That’s why Gillette Stadium is Boston Stadium, sitting approximately 35 miles from downtown Boston. FIFA’s official motto is “For the Game. For the World.” It could as easily be “Dollar accipiendus est,” Latin for “There’s a dollar to be had.”

The World Cup trophy depicts two people holding up Earth. If it were true to FIFA’s principles, it would be a golden open palm, waiting impatiently for a stack of cash.

Do a Google search for “FIFA corruption.” Unless you have a free day or 10, you won’t possibly be able to read it all. This is an organization that took bribes as a standard practice of doing business.

Team USA plays Australia on June 19 in Seattle. The U.S. then completes pool play on June 26 vs. Turkey, back in Los Angeles. If the Americans surpass even the most optimistic expectations, perhaps they’ll be playing in the final on July 19 at New York New Jersey Stadium, better known as MetLife Stadium.

It’s not just FIFA demanding its cut. This World Cup could end up being the continent’s biggest cash grab since the Klondike Gold Rush. Hotels are expensive. A train ticket from Boston’s South Station to Gillette Stadium (BOSTON STADIUM, DON’T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN, FIFA HAS EYES EVERYWHERE) will run you $80. That might actually be a bargain, because parking at the stadium is limited to 5,000 prebooked spots that start at $175.

Here in Maine, it’s obvious that if soccer isn’t the most popular sport in the state, it soon will be. The game is having a moment. Youth leagues are thriving. High school players are better than ever. The Hearts of Pine play every home game at Fitzpatrick Stadium in front of a raucous sellout crowd, and the team announced Thursday it will field a women’s team beginning next year.

There will be watch parties galore around the state. The game lends itself to that communal experience. For decades, people have scoffed when hearing how soccer is growing in popularity in this country. Now that’s happening, and Maine is a leader.

That national growth, coupled with the expansion of the World Cup tournament, could make this one of the most popular tournaments to date. That said, there are concerns regarding international visitors, and the potential lack of them.

Last month, the American Hotel and Lodging Association reported bookings are running far below projections in World Cup match host cities. It’s a combination of a few factors, but it comes down to this: people are hesitant to spend big bucks to visit a country that the current administration has made as welcoming as a rash.

In soccer lingo, that’s an own goal.