When the coronavirus crisis began, I joked that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do this exercise in tomfoolery this year.

The sports haiku is my spring tradition. I don’t ever take it too seriously, at least not as seriously as some well-intentioned, poetry-loving readers who have reached out to me over the years seem to. I have fun with it, and I hope that is conveyed to the reader.

I wasn’t sure if I would do a haiku column this year, because I wondered where the heck I would draw source material with the sporting world shut down. It turned out, there was plenty of stuff worth bludgeoning with snarky haiku.

There’s an ongoing debate, are sports an escape from the rigors of daily life, or a reflection of them? The truth is somewhere in the middle, and that’s why this baker’s dozen haiku can’t help but address the current climate in some way. That said, please take them in the spirit of fun with which they’ve been intended since I started this nonsense more than a decade ago.

In other parts of this paper (or web site, if you read online), you’ll find stories from my colleagues addressing the important issues facing us all. Thank you for giving us your time. If I can entertain you for a spell while they inform you, I’ll be thrilled.

Stay healthy, stay safe, and thank you for reading. Now, on to the bad poetry.

High School Spring Sports

What would you give now

To bundle up, gloves muffle

Early spring applause

The Last Dance

Jordan is the GOAT

Eighty-six Celts still better

Than ninety-six Bulls

The Masters

Lonely dogwoods sit

November chill, not spring hope

“Hello friends” on hold

Kyle Dugger

Never heard of him

Small school, potential to burn

Go Lenoir-Rhyne go!

LA Rams

Demby and Edwards

Coen too, west coast Black Bears

Orono pipeline

Kentucky Derby

A fond memory

Quebec City pub, race on

Shouts in French, such fun

NCAA Tournament

March Madness halted

Maine win streak, Stony Brook next?

Taken by virus

Jeremy Swayman

Almost won Hobey

Still black bear, now a Bruin

Not a sieve, brick wall

James Develin

Built for fourth and short

Destroyer of linebackers

Ivy League throwback

New-Look Patriots

No Brady, no Gronk

Refreshing questions, unknown

Don’t mourn, celebrate

Red Sox Punishment

Let’s check the replay

Watkins takes the fall for all

No trash cans were banged

Mookie Betts

Hollywood Mookie

On hold, like everything

You’re cheap, Henry. Cheap!

Sports Nostalgia

Sox win! Bruins win!

Celts, Pats, Black Bears, on repeat

Past is all we have