David Scotton lives in Cape Elizabeth.

How did this happen? In my life I have asked myself this question when I have witnessed life-changing events. My success answering this has been infrequent and often discouraging.

I was forced to confront this problem with the death of my father during World War II, when I read of the Holocaust, the deaths caused by the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia and, yet again, when reading, more recently, about events in the Gaza Strip.

Now I am facing extreme political polarization in our country with associated deaths, rioting and the separation of citizens into polarized groups that increasingly fail to meaningfully interact. The advent of widespread communication through social media makes it easier for its users to not be challenged for inaccurate or poorly supported ideas and eliminates humanity from interactions.

Answering the question should not be this difficult. It must be addressed before solutions can be offered.

This issue came to a head for me recently as I stood holding a political sign on the Casco Bay Bridge. Many indicated support. However, a surprising number of people yelled demeaning insults, curses and expressed the “middle finger.”

Ideally, I would have preferred that they approach me for a more personal conversation, during which differing opinions would be shared. I would have offered having breakfast with such a person. Instead, they chose a communication style similar to that provided by social media.

This division was further emphasized to me recently when one of my nephews declined having a discussion with me by stating that, “We can’t talk about any issue if we have no agreement on the issue.”

So, here I sit, again, addressing the “How did this happen?” question.

Amazingly, I believe that these uncomfortable experiences provided to me by my fellow citizens, some of whom are my neighbors, have brought me closer to a logical answer.

It is that we, including myself, very frequently do not consider political conflict from the standpoint of humanity and mutual respect. This becomes increasingly true as the emotional temperature of the conflict rises.

Neither my act of standing on the bridge with my sign nor the yelled insults or the other expressions of displeasure have any effect other than the further separation of opinions and increased rage.

Even more contradictory is the fact that the high levels of emotion possessed by both myself and my opponents are based on the fact that we both care about the fate of our country, but have differing ideas about how our country can be made better.

Does this state of affairs not define an ideal setting for negotiation about contrary ideas? For whatever reason, the intensity of conflict and expressions of hate are intensifying. We cannot allow uncontrolled emotion and increasing hate to control our actions.

There are some in both political parties who knowingly take advantage of our inability to find a reasonable path through these challenging times. We must all work hard as patriots and not allow this to happen. We must not allow another war against ourselves.

There is a desperate need to “have breakfasts” together during which we discuss our different ideas of patriotism and humanity. We cannot allow others to control our emotions or our behavior or we will be in real danger of losing our democracy.

I am ready for this job. Are you?