“… you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

— The Eagles, “Hotel California”

Owen Wilson, he of the old Rod Stewart haircut and broken nose, is back, and without a wedding in sight. This time, without changing a thing, Owen plays Jack, a civil engineer and entrepreneur who lost his own business in Austin, Texas.

Jack has now moved his wife (your average Texas housewife, Lake Bell in a thankless role), two little girls (Sterling Jerins and Claire Geare) and a full jean wardrobe, to a place that looks like Bangkok, but isn’t.

Nice guy Jack arrives with, and is comforted by, a gnarly Brit, all beardy and bracelets, denim shirt and handsome. This will be the former James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, who keeps reinventing his career. Here he passes himself off as just a wandering “Asian bum,” who knows all the bad girls and badder boys in Asia. Don’t believe it. He will come in handy later, and you’ll like him.

Jack’s new company is all about a water purification system to save the locals who don’t like it, or the white eyes who have come to take their souls.

Advertisement

On the first day, the networks and newspapers go off line. The social media seems to be shouting and drum banging in the distance. It will get up close and very personal.

Whilst out looking for an American newspaper, Owen finds himself in the middle of a strange street with 500 cops with shields coming one way, and several thousand angry civilians with weapons coming the other. In an instant, he sees the mob pick out what appears to be another American in front of a store, then execute him, ISIS style.

That does it. He makes his way back to the hotel, on what seems to be a 20-minute dash through a Hillary Clinton Benghazi nightmare. You will never see so many close calls jammed into a 20-minute chase.

Back at the hotel, all bloody Hell has broken out. An extension of the last mob has broken in and butchered the staff and all the occupants but for his family, who are under contract to survive to the final credits. Of course we know that Lake Bell and the girls won’t die, but there are at least 10 moments when you will think that all Hollywood bets are off, and that this is going to end in a multi-funeral.

The butchering is endless, they go room to room and cut and behead, beat, rape and burn. Prepare yourself, these guys are really vicious, and their acts are in your face.

There is an escape with some others to a rooftop, but it doesn’t end there. The marauders appear to have commandeered heavy American firepower from somewhere: tanks, missiles, even two Apache fighter choppers, which they use to mop up whatever is left.

Advertisement

Jack and family keep escaping one trap after another, even going as far as jumping from one roof to a much lower one, that plays out like a circus act. I won’t give it away, but you will get to know the area around your feet.

The next hour is jammed with hair-raising encounters that will leave you damp at the arm pits. And just when all – seems lost, who should appear but Mr. Bond with tricks up his sleeve. Not all ends well with everyone, but remember the contract. Vietnam plays a part here, as a nation of newly born good guys. You’ll enjoy that.

I expected this to be honker, but it’s a genuine action thriller of the old school, and one in which the housewife turns “mother from Hell,” and saves the day in one incredible scene.

Owen Wilson, more at home in very light comedy, handles himself well here. He has perfected the role of Owen Wilson.

Director John Erick Dowdle (“Quarantine,” “Devil” ) is a graduate of New York University’s film program and has now earned his Ph.D. Watch out for the future work of French cinematographer Leo Hinstin. He sure knows how to use smoke.

J.P. Devine is a former stage and screen actor.


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.