“See the man who is laughing; he has not yet heard the news.”

— Old Chinese proverb

Editor’s note/spoiler alert: This column contains multiple reveals about the final episode of “Downton Abbey.” Read it at your own risk.

It’s been a frightening month, with blood flowing in the political streets, made worse by the demise of a much beloved television series, “Downton Abbey.” This long late winter was made endurable by the collected stiff upper lips of the redoubtable Crawleys. So here’s the rundown of news as we try to keep our upper lips as stiff as Lord Crawley’s.

The bad news first: Trump wins Mississippi and Kansas.

GOOD NEWS: Lady Edith (Laura Carmichael), who lost her great love by whom she had a (shhhh!) child, falls in love again with a bloke she thinks a commoner, but who turns out, by the stroke of a (shhhh!) cousin who dies in Tangier, to become the Marquess of Hexham, which means Edith now outranks her nasty sister.

Bad News: Bernie wins Michigan.

GOOD NEWS: Mr. and Mrs. Bates (the beloved Brendan Coyle and Joanne Froggatt) both of whom have suffered run-ins with rape and deceit, betrayal and miscarriages, in no particular order, have a baby, delivered in the bed of Lady Mary.

Bad news: Ted Cruz wins big in Texas.

GOOD NEWS: Lady Cora (Elizabeth McGovern) who has long drifted around the drafty, stately halls of Downton with nothing in particular to do, becomes the president of the new hospital’s board. Good show, old girl.

Bad news: Trump wins the South Carolina primary.

GOOD NEWS: Lord Grantham (Hugh Bonneville), who scared us to death with the most vivid and bloody reverse peristalsis since Linda Blair’s upheaval in “The Exorcist,” has survived and is as fit as ginger.

Bad News: Marco Rubio, whom we’ve been hoping would be a roadblock entry for Trump, loses again.

GOOD NEWS: Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) finally comes to her senses and does the smartest thing she’s done since she had her hair bobbed: Marries good old fellow Henry (he’s too butch for Henry, and should now be called Hank).

Bad News: Ted Cruz, who we thought would at least give The Trump a run for his money, loses South Carolina.

GOOD NEWS: Mr. Moseley, the lovable, shy, self-deprecating footman, who got a starter position as a teacher in the local school, is chosen to become a full-time educator in the school system. A happy moment.

Bad News: Some of Marco Rubio’s advisers “advise” him to pack it in before Florida and avoid an embarrassing rout in his home state and an inevitable crash in Ohio. What’s worse, Jeb Bush has faded faster than Trump’s fake suntan after having been dissed to death by The Trump.

GOOD NEWS: Isobel (the delightful Penelope Wilton) discovers that her sweetie, Lord Merton (Douglas Reith), is not going to die after all. It seems that because of a typo in the script, he was diagnosed with pernicious anemia. It turns out, much to all of our delight, that the heavenly Good Lord has granted the earthly good Lord a reprieve, and given him only the simple form of merely annoying anemia. Good for Mertie.

Bad News: Poor Marco speaks at an embarrassingly and poorly attended rally in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, on Tuesday, where the handwriting on the wall was hidden by a campaign poster.

Kind of Bad News: The shy darling kitchen maid Daisy (Sophie McShera), in a fit of pique, mucks up her hair with dull kitchen scissors generally used for trimming celery, followed by

GOOD NEWS: Mrs. Bates rushes to the rescue with a better scissors and brush and the use of Lady Mary’s brand new hair dryer. Whew! That was close.

Bad News: Hillary loses Michigan (by a hair).

GOOD NEWS: Lady Edith marries her Bertie in a lovely ceremony. We were all there as tissues were handed out and copious tears clouded the screen. Good show, Edith.

Bad News: Mr. Carson (Jim Carter) develops an inherited case of the shakes and is forced to consider retirement.

GOOD NEWS: This results in the happy return of Mr. Barrow, (Rob James-Collier) Downton’s resident (shhhh!) gay, to the abbey as full butler. We’re happy with that. It’s been all downs and no ups for Thomas.

Bad News: He still has to stay in the closet.

It’s been a jolly good time with the Crawleys, and we’re all looking forward to visiting Bertie and Edith this summer in their Brancaster Castle Airbnb. Tally ho and all that rot.

Bye-bye. (Oh, stop crying.)

J.P. Devine is a Waterville writer. His book, “Will Write for Food,” is a collection of some of his best Morning Sentinel columns.

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