“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”

— William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”

Election Day is only 30 days away, and before you go into that booth to vote, there are a few things you should know that, one way or another, could affect your vote. With both candidates, there is more, methinks, than meets the eye.

By now, you’ve probably all formed strong opinions; you’re probably right on target or dead wrong, so strong is the influence of the stars.

As an inquisitive Virgo, a busybody and political meddler, I thought it might be helpful to my millions of readers (exaggeration is a trait I share with Donald) to amuse those lost in this madness. So then I immersed myself in the dozens of books I’ve accumulated over the years on the mystic world of astrology. You’re welcome.

Ladies first. Hillary Clinton, I discovered, is a Scorpio with Virgo ascending, and her moon is in, of all places, Pisces.


In Chinese astrology, she is a “Fire Pig.” Don’t make too much of that; the Chinese are an ancient, and inscrutable people.

Hillary, born on Oct. 26, 1947, shares a birthday with Seth MacFarlane and Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, the late shah of Iran. And not that it makes any difference to the election, but she is the same height as Madonna and Tina Fey, such is the whimsical nature of the stars.

Now the fun part: Scorpio, which incidentally was also the sign of the unforgettable Rosemary De Branco, she of the 1,001 pastel angora sweaters and simple strand of pearls, is the sign in the Zodiac (send the kids out of the room for a minute) that rules sex. According to “Olivia,” an online astrologist, Hill’s sexual nature is more “complex” than Bill’s. I won’t go any further into it than that.

Olivia also tells us that a Scorpio woman can be deeply hurt. Further and deeper research through several books on sun signs, including one from Muhlenberg College, shows us that Scorpio sun is in the fifth house, and that Hillary is your typical Scorpio, known for its display of “intense emotional strength.”

I myself subscribe to Linda Goodman’s “Sun Signs.” It’s never let me down when researching a girlfriend’s signs.

Scorpio Hillary’s true color is deep wine red, the color she wore when she “whupped” Donald in the first debate.


Linda also has some info that Donald may well heed: “She’s a human X-ray machine, so don’t flirt. Unless you mean business, you’re wasting her time and insulting her. I wouldn’t advise you to insult a Scorpio. It’s just not healthy. If you don’t know what I mean, ask someone who has. She can be overbearing and domineering, sarcastic and frigid — then turn as hot as an oven at 500 degrees Fahrenheit. She can hate with bitter venom and love with fierce abandon.”

Don’t tweet that, Donald.

Now about Mr. Trump: Donald was born June 14, 1946. That makes him a Gemini with his moon in Sagittarius.

Several astrologists I have canvassed all seem to share the same data on Donald the Gemini: He likes people, he’s loaded with witty remarks, and he keeps the party going in more ways than one.

If you meet him first at a social affair where he’s performing his fascinating multiple personality act, you haven’t a chance. You’ll be convinced he’s the most exciting, interesting, intelligent man you’ve ever come across

He is a man whose whims may change with the wind. Some say Gemini man is moody, irritable, impatient, critical, impatient, sullen and troubled.


Coincidentally, Gemini men often marry more than once, with multiple marriages occurring when they are very young.

According to Linda Goodman’s analysis of the sign, the Gemini man’s imagination may often run away with him, causing him to make an occasional statement he can’t back up. The Gemini male also has a proclivity for sudden, stinging, sarcastic speech.

I offer this research with an open mind and heart, and the beat goes on.

J.P. Devine is a Waterville writer.

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