On June 5, two U.S. astronauts — Barry “Butch” Wilmore and Sunita “Suni” Williams — left earth for the International Space Station (ISS) aboard Boeing’s Starliner.

(Remind me: is this the same Boeing Corp. that the Justice Department has opened a criminal investigation against, and the same one the FAA is still investigating over the loss of that door plug on an Alaska Airlines flight?)

Here, on this 2024 Labor Day, we learn that Wilmore and Williams, who performed the first crewed test flight of Starliner, will return in February 2025 on the Space-X Crew-9.

February? February 2025? Is that correct? Like Valentine’s Day?

Who do we call at Boeing about this? I’m no expert in the separate divisions at Boeing, but their complaint department must be busy.

After I spent an hour reading all the details about the problems of “Butch” and “Suni,” I learned this disturbing news that I felt was important to relay to my readers: These astronauts drink recycled urine to stay hydrated.

Yes. You missed that one, didn’t you? I don’t think that has come up in their latest flyer.

I read it again to be sure. They drink recycled urine to stay hydrated.

The next time you catch your dog or cat drinking out of your downstairs toilet that your husband forgot to flush (women always remember to flush), read that news flash to them.

It’s explained: “Astronauts themselves are important sources of water in outer space. With the help of a special centrifuge, their urine is distilled, then processed to provide clean drinking water.”

OK. This one feature confirmed for this writer, who drinks only bottled water (Fiji), and never drinks water from the faucet or the garden hose (which I loved doing when I was a kid), why I would not, under any circumstance, be enrolling in any future flights into space.

That’s just one reason I have decided not to enroll in any such program. I am also afraid of heights.

It’s discomforting to read each day how often my age already counts me out of events that include myriad other fun adventures.

As in learning to ski, skydive, hike the Appalachian Trail, learn to properly ride a Harley Road King Special bike, take banjo or ballet lessons, or run for president. President Joe has learned how fraught that journey has been.

February? Here is a list I compiled of the upcoming events that our heroes Butch and Suni will be missing while they’re having a glass of urine with their packaged dinner.

The November elections? Butch and Suni flew away with President Joe, and may come back to Kamala. That’s a big one.

Yes, I’m sure that the largest news will be relayed to them: about the results of the Golden Globes, the Emmys, and the tragic end of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s second marriage.

Not to forget the Kansas City Chiefs September 5 game against the Baltimore Ravens. Will Taylor Swift be there to cheer on Travis Kelce?

TODAY: Suni sips her glass of water, makes a face and whispers to Butch, “I think I got yours.”

J.P. Devine is a Waterville writer.