We all had to deal with it in school, and like calculus, many of us wondered how we would ever apply physics to real-life situations. I endured and learned, but as a turkey hunter I’m doubling down on my opposition. It may work in the world of mechanics but turkeys don’t read textbooks.

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction — very predictable. By that logic there should be an inverse correlation between scouting time and hunting time. The more you spend on scouting, the less you should need on hunting, “should” being the operative word. Perhaps “nature” was the wrong choice of words because the natural world is a non-linear system in which the change in output is not equal to the change in input, and all things move toward entropy. Let me explain.

If Newton’s laws applied to turkey hunting, outcomes would be a lot more predictable, but that’s not a word often applied to wild turkeys unless it’s preceded with “un.” We do our utmost to predict what a bird might do given a particular set of circumstances; then they don’t.

For example, you scout a flock of birds before the season and learn they follow a fairly regular routine. They roost in the same trees, fly down into the same field, strut, feed and walk toward the same woodline. Opening day comes and you’re waiting just inside that woodline. The birds leave their regular roost and land in their regular field. Somewhere in the distance a dog barks and the lead hen turns her head in that direction. Several seconds pass. She’s forgotten why she’s facing that way but as long as she is, she continues and the flock follows, to the wrong woodline.

Another rule of physics states that what goes up must come down. I suppose it does, but it can take a long time. Turkeys fly up to roost at dusk, then fly back down at dawn, sometimes. Other times they take their sweet time. I’ve sat for hours awaiting a fly-down, only to be frustrated by birds that seemed perfectly content to go against their very nature, or at least what we presume to understand about it.

Newton’s first law states that an object in motion continues to move at constant velocity unless acted upon by an external force. That seems to make sense. If Old Tom suddenly catches me moving, he’s going to react by increasing his velocity. But how do you explain when the hunter is silent, immobile and concealed in camo, and a turkey suddenly slams to a halt, raises its head, putts, then runs away? Clearly there was some internal force that Newton didn’t factor in.

Let’s talk about kinetic energy for a moment. By definition, translational kinetic energy (K) of a body is equal to one-half the product of its mass, times the square of its velocity. Turkey loads are pretty heavy, and a 3-inch magnum load weighs around 2 ounces, and travels between 1,200 and 1,600 feet per second. At close range, each pellet should impact with 5.5 foot-pounds of energy on the target, in this case a turkey. That being the case, how does one explain “rolling” a turkey at close range only to have it get up and run, then fly away?

I think psychology might be a better field for the turkey hunter to study. It might help us better understand what drives a human to endure hardship, frustration and defeat, doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome. There’s a word for that.

Bob Humphrey is a freelance writer and Registered Maine Guide who lives in Pownal. He can be reached at: [email protected]