“When sorrows come, they come not single spies. But in battalions!”

— William Shakespeare “Hamlet”

Paul Feig gave us “Bridesmaids” and “Heat,” both of which were saved by the huge omnipresence of Melissa McCarthy, an actress who in another time might have been the love child of Oliver Hardy and Margaret Dumont.

In “Heat,” we saw how helpless a pro like Sandra Bullock was when she was doing comedy schtick with McCarthy.

Now Feig has unleashed McCarthy again in a comedy that can’t be compared with those two.

“Spy” redefines “broad.” It’s as if 12 monkeys were given computers and told to write a parody of any James Bond movie they wanted. Then the finished script would have been given to the cast of “Two Broke Girls” to proof.

What we have is yet another take off on the much embattled CIA, with Melissa as Susan Cooper, a brilliant in-house computer techie who is in love with and charged with protecting Bondsian field agent, Bradley Fine (Jude Law).

At open, Susan, who works in a basement full of mice and bats. (What?) has a wide camera view of everything within Bradley’s field of vision thousands of miles away. Feig, like other comic directors, simply invents stuff the CIA wishes it had.

Susan, as mice crawl all over her (What?) alerts her agent to escape routes, baddies coming around corners, where to get a latte, and anything and everything that’s waiting to kill him.

When Fine fails in his mission and is thought dead, the “Chief” (Allison Janney) reluctantly sends Susan abroad in deep cover, or as deep as a formidable figure as Susan can be, to uncover a missing nuclear weapon and case of diamonds.

This begins a tour of posh world spots, Canne, Paris, Berlin, I think, and somewhere in Italy, where Susan gets to wear comedic outfits.

Everybody in television and theater works today.

Feig, to his credit, has hired every working character actor from television’s bottomless pool. We get Rose Byrne, (“Damages,” “Portlandia”) the very funny Zach Woods from HBO’s “Silicon Valley,” and Sam Richardson from “Veep.”

Add to that the international action hero Jason Statham and the talented Bobby Cannavale, who seems to be able to do anything.

OMG, was that rock star 50 Cent in that helicopter? Yes, it was.

You will probably recognize many more than I did. But maybe not Melissa’s hubby, the delightful Ben Falcone, as a hilarious Italian who lusts for our heroine.

He’s great.

“Spy” is, of course, chockablock with chase scenes, miraculous escapes, bullets to the forehead, gala ballrooms and torture dungeons, and a bare knuckle, all out cat fight between Susan and a femme fatale secret agent. Pots and dishes fly, cleavers and knives, flour and sugar, dishtowels and door knobs are put to use as weapons. It’s here that we discover that our Susan is not just another zaftig button pusher. I think the fight ran about five minutes. If you love this sort of run amok parody and hate for it to end, the movie runs about 10 minutes. If you hate it, it runs eight hours.

J.P. Devine is a former stage and screen actor.


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